THEY say punk’s not dead, it’s just always smelt that way. Back in the last century, when it was all black and white and it was all fields round here and there were only three TV channels and mobiles were things babies had hanging over their cots, there was a musical earthquake so intense the shockwaves are still being felt nearly 40 years on.

That, boys and girls, was something called punk rock.

So it’s time to dig out your grandad’s old bondage trousers and granny’s crusty Seditionaries T-shirt, spike up what’s left of your hair and pogo all the way to Goldies in Dorchester for the Big Punk Night Out next Saturday, November 22.

On the bill are local punk heroes The Skones who are like a musical time capsule, playing songs from the classic era of 1976-82.

They’ll be joined by north Dorset funsters HateBomb, who were formed by ex-Fat Drunk and Stupid frontman JonJon and are currently recording their debut album.

Also turning up and cranking it up will be Guildford’s The Cottonettes, the band who put the OI! in noise, plus, and you need to stand up for this bit as a mark of respect, Bournemouth’s Self Abuse, who have been together now, on and off and then back on again, for more than 30 years.

Blimey, 30 years of Self Abuse? That’s enough to damage anyone’s eyesight.

Their 1984 EP Didn’t Want to be a Soldier was picked up by John Peel and topped the independent charts in both Sounds and Melody Maker, (that seems so ancient and old-fashioned I might as well be writing it in Latin) and they’ll be playing tracks from their current release Screenage 2004-14.

It promises to be a great night of arthritic pogoing down Amnesia Avenue, so I’ll see you down the mosh pit in your elasticated-waist trews and comfortable slippers.

Moving on, and as my late grandfather used to tell me, when one door closes, another one opens. Lovely bloke, terrible joiner...

With Self Abuse notching up more than 30 years of rocking, let’s hear it for Regulation 9 who play their first gig tonight at the compact and bijou Dolphin in Weymouth’s Park Street.

The Weymouth five-piece of Pat and Mike Braithwaite, Gavin Roy, Pete Lawrence and Kye Rushton have been rehearsing since January and threaten a set list of punk, indie and rock classics.

Pop along tonight so you can say you were there at the beginning, ok?

Till next time…

TONIGHT (14)

Rocket Dolls (Finns, Weymouth)

Sea Bass and the Fellas (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

The Dinnerladies (Royal Exchange, Portland)

Jolly Boys Outing (Lugger, Chickerell, Weymouth)

Sea Bass and the Fellas (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

Regulation 9 (The Dolphin, Weymouth)

Broadband (Royal Portland Arms, Fortuneswell, Portland)

Think Twice (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Finn (Park Hotel, Weymouth)

Southern Sinners (Café Jagos, Dorchester)

Replay (Ocean Rooms, Pavilion,Weymouth)

Ed Hintze (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Sheryl Lee (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Leggomen (Royal Oak, Quayside, Weymouth)

Jam Night (The Lounge, Colwell Centre, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

BB Tim Band (Beach and Barnicott, Bridport)

Kathy (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Amy Mayes (King’s Arms, Weymouth)

SATURDAY (15)

Hustle (Finns, Weymouth)

Mama Feelgood (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

Leggomen (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

Robert Brown (Lugger, Chickerell, Weymouth)

Abba Angels (Trinity Club, Dorchester)

Bill Smarme (Royal Portland Arms, Fortuneswell, Portland)

Left, Right and Centre (Black Dog, Weymouth)

Jilly Ann (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Shooter (Rendezvous, Weymouth)

New Era (Wyke Regis Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Steve Nicholas (Conservative Club, Weymouth)

Replay (The Star,Weymouth)

The Mighty Fine (King’s Arms, Weymouth)

Sucker Punch (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Tom Caulfield (Royal Oak, Quayside, Weymouth)

The Silhouettes (RBL, Fortuneswell, Portland) A fundraiser for the Fortuneswell Cancer Trust.

Jonathan Cotton (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Neon (New Star Inn, Portland)

Danny Adams (Ferrybridge, Weymouth)

Frank E Finn (Bridge Inn, Weymouth)

ACBBs (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

John Stone (Tom Brown’s, Dorchester)

Dale Fender Band (Centenary Club, Weymouth)

Quinn’s Quinney (Ropemakers, Bridport)

SUNDAY (16)

Red Rooster (Three Compasses, Charminster)

Jim Reynolds (Royal Portland Arms, Fortuneswell, Portland)

The Leggomen (King’s Arms, Portesham) 3-5pm.

Dorset Wrecks (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth) 2.30pm

Ricky Solo (Sailor’s Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) From 3pm.

Jam Night (Sailor’s Return, Nicholas Street, Weymouth) Music from 8pm.

Martin Freed (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) 3pm to 5pm.

Julie Lewis (Il Porto, Hope Sq, Weymouth) 2 to 4pm.

Sheryl Lee (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Tinker’s Cuss (Ropemakers, Bridport) 4pm.

Sunday Sessions (Sydney Arms, Dorchester) 7pm.

MONDAY (17)

Boytits, Leggomen (Rendezvous, Weymouth)

Sunset café Stompers (Ropemakers, Bridport)

TUESDAY (18)

Open Mic Night (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) 8pm.

WEDNESDAY (19)

Dave P’s Open Mic Night (Rendezvous, Weymouth) From 8pm.

Jam with Mark (Wellington Arms, St Alban Street, Weymouth)

Wessex Folk Night (Sailors Return, Nicholas Street, Weymouth) Acoustic folk, here every Wednesday.

THURSDAY (20)

Martin Freed (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Open Mic Surgery (Tom Brown’s, High East St, Dorchester) All backline provided, come on down and have a play.

Steve’s Singalong (Duke of Cornwall, St Edmund Street, Weymouth) Steve hosts this session, with guests joining in.

Traditional Tune Session (Cove House Inn, ChiswelI, Portland) Ukulele Sessions (Sailors Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) Strum on down from 8pm.

FRIDAY (21)

Dreadzone (Electric Palace, Bridport)

Speedway Snails (Finns, Weymouth)

Mad Hatters (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

Bug Tree Swamp (Royal Portland Arms, Fortuneswell, Portland)

Retro (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Lo Numbers (Royal Exchange, Portland)

Tripod (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth) Leggomen (Royal Oak, Quayside, Weymouth)

Jam Night (The Lounge, Colwell Centre, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Custer’s Last Blues Band (Ropemakers, Bridport)