WAR, dah, dah, dah, what is it good for? Well, in the case of Swedish metal monsters Sabaton, the basis for an impressive 15-year career, since you ask.

Heavier than a Volvo truck full of Saab engines and Abba CDs, the recurring theme of their musical onslaught is conflict, war, battles, heroism and gallantry throughout history and the like.

And if you ever wondered what a mix of a nuclear bomb blast, an air raid, rapid mortar fire with a twiddly guitar solo chucked in sounded like, a cursory listen to some of their back catalogue will help.

The band are currently on their mammoth Heroes world tour, taking in the UK, all over Europe, the States and Canada before finishing in their hometown of Falun next August.

You can probably hear a rumble in the distance right now and that will be Sabaton’s tour bus, well, tank actually, as they make their way to the Weymouth Pavilion for next Wednesday, December 3.

 

 

Support comes from Finnish folk-metalists Korpiklaani, who are also an unplayable hand in Scrabble, and fellow moshers Tyr, who hail from the Faroes.

Tickets priced at £17 for this are flying out the door unsurprisingly so get you bottoms in gear and get yours sharpish from the box office.

Moving on, and in a rather different vein, Winter Mountain are the acoustic duo of Cornishman Joseph Francis and Irishman Marty Smyth who met by chance on a train at Chicago’s Union station.

Their blend of folkie harmonies has been winning over increasing numbers of fans, with even Rosanne Cash gushing: ”They’re amazing, awesome harmonies and such beautiful songs.”And last Sunday, they appeared with Clare Balding on Radio 2’s Good Morning Sunday.

As you might imagine, they’re a bit like the weather: Cool, but pretty mild for the time of year, and you can check them and their beards out tomorrow night, Saturday, November 29, when their UK tour takes them to Dorchester Art Centre. Tickets at £7 are available from the box office on 01305 266926.

Meanwhile, those of you still distraught at the loss of Dapper Laughs from the nation’s tellyboxes can take solace tonight, Friday November 28, with a gig at Tom Browns in Dorchester from the notorious K*** and the Gang, the internet phenomenon and one-stop shop for songs of such juvenile puerile filth and jaw-dropping dubious disgusting content, none of which are suitable for this newspaper.

With more than a million hits on his YouTube account, K has been banned by Butlins, received death threats from irate Michael Jackson fans and been excommunicated by the Catholic church.

I think he’s on to something, don’t you?

You can be morally outraged and rendered senseless with laughter tonight for the small outlay of just £5 on the door tonight, but be there early, okay?

Till next time...

TONIGHT (28)

Fissure of Riddles, Paisley and support (Finns, Weymouth)

Lauren Bannon (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

The Dolmen (Royal Exchange, Portland)

The Crack (Lugger, Chickerell, Weymouth)

K*** and the Gang, The Inbredz (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

Lewis Craven (Royal Portland Arms, Fortuneswell, Portland)

SAS duo (Weymouth Working Men’s Club, Weymouth) Amy Mayes (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Shelby’s Elbows (Ropemakers, Bridport)

Leggomen (Royal Oak, Quayside, Weymouth)

Jam Night (The Lounge, Colwell Centre, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

The Unpredictables (Park Hotel, Weymouth)

Rocking Rich (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Freeloader (Green Shutters, Portland)

Blazing Strings (Illchester Arms, Abbotsbury)

Jolly Boys Outing (King’s Arms, Portesham)

Bob Mallet (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

DuKane, Wynter Prior, Mia Nicole (Stage Door, St Mary’s Passage, Weymouth)

James Baker (Old Castle, Weymouth)

Matt Black (Kings Arms, Weymouth)

SATURDAY (29)

Fluke (Finns, Weymouth)

Mama Feelgood (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

Blazing Strings (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

The Dinnerladies (Victoria, Dorchester)

Winter Mountain (Dorchester Arts Centre)

Tony England (Weymouth Working Men’s Club, Weymouth)

Old Dogz New Trix (Wyke Regis Working Men’s Club, Weymouth)

Barry Hobson (Conservative Club, Weymouth)

Dr Robert (Park Hotel, Weymouth)

Tripod (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

Lauren Bannon, Mad Hatters (Rendezvous, Weymouth)

Skinful (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Freak Circus (Ropemakers, Bridport)

Tom Caulfield (Royal Oak, Quayside, Weymouth)

Elvis 56 (Wyke Regis Social Club, Weymouth)

Red Rooster, Howling at the Moon (Bull, Fordington, Dorchester) From 6.30pm.

Finn (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

The Crack (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Tom Toomey (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

Haze (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Gale Force Four (King’s Arms, Weymouth)

SUNDAY (30)

Kara Jo Richards and Leya Mai (Royal Portland Arms, Fortuneswell, Portland)

Victorian Barbers (King’s Arms, Portesham) 3-5pm.

Replay (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth) 2-5pm.

Ricky Solo (Sailor’s Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) From 3pm.

Jam Night (Sailor’s Return, Nicholas Street, Weymouth) Mark Stacey and friends host this regular Sunday acoustic jam session. Music from 8pm.

Sunday Session (Sydney Arms, Dorchester)

Stress (Three Compasses, Charminster)

Six String Steve (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Aaron Carter (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) 3pm.

Martin Freed (King’s Arms, Weymouth) followed by...

Sheryl Lee (King’s Arms, Weymouth)

MONDAY (1)

Boytits, Leggomen (Rendezvous, Weymouth)

TUESDAY (2)

Replay (Lions Christmas Show, Weymouth Pavilion)

One Fat Santa (Boho, Weymouth)

WEDNESDAY (3)

Sabaton, Koorpiklani, Tyr (Pavilion, Weymouth)

Dave Bowen and Jazz Friends (Three Compasses, Charminster)

Dave P’s Open Mic Night (Rendezvous, Weymouth) From 8pm.

Jam with Mark (Wellington Arms, St Alban Street, Weymouth) Mark Stacey hosts this regular acoustic jam session.

Wessex Folk Night (Sailors Return, Nicholas Street, Weymouth) Acoustic folk, here every Wednesday.

THURSDAY (4)

Open Mic Surgery (Tom Brown’s, High East St, Dorchester) All backline provided, come on down and have a play.

Steve’s Singalong (Duke of Cornwall, St Edmund Street, Weymouth) Steve hosts this session, with guests joining in.

One Fat Santa (Outside Durnovaria, Dorchester) 11am-8pm, in aid of the Help A friend fund.

Jack Daniels So-Low (Durnovaria, Dorchester) Jack comes inside for a warm.

Traditional Tune Session (Cove House Inn, ChiswelI, Portland)

Ukulele Sessions (Sailors Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) Strum on down from 8pm.

FRIDAY (5)

Speedway Snails (Royal Exchange, Portland)

Kopykatz (Lugger, Chickerell, Weymouth)

In The Doghouse (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Stompin’ Dave and Sam Kelly (Evershot village hall)

Leggomen (Royal Oak, Quayside, Weymouth)

Jam Night (The Lounge, Colwell Centre, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Loop (Illchester Arms, Abbotsbury)

Shakespearos (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Acoustic Session (Victoria Inn, Knights in the Bottom, Chickerell, Weymouth)