I WENT to my GP the other day about my bunged-up lugholes. She asked me what are the symptoms. I told her they were family of yellow people in America.

But it also seems I’ve got gigs coming out of my ears. Ewww… “You’ve got what we doctors call Tom Jones Syndrome,” she told me “Is it very rare?” I anxiously inquired.

“It’s not new, pussycat,” she replied, neatly sidestepping the obvious retort.

Even so, a quick shufty at the listings on this page and you can clearly see more live music than you can shake a sticky hot-cross bun at.

First up tonight, Friday April 3, is a must for those of you of a certain vintage, ahem, who can vaguely remember the peripatetic jam nights in Weymouth from the 80s and 90s hosted by blues rockers Brahms and Liszt, aka Timmy Broad and Chris Lonergan, which were held at the former Excise House, Mariners, Verdis, Finns and anywhere else that would have them.

To be frank, I doubt if anyone could remember them the morning after let alone a couple of decades but even so, there’s a reunion tonight at The Star for all those who sat in back in the day and are sufficiently compos mentis to join B&L who are still decomposing after all these years.

You don’t need me to tell you it’s the Easter weekend , so I won’t, but there are two fun-packed events lined up for Sunday, April 5, in Weymouth.

There’s Tea on the Quay at the Rendezvous by the Town Bridge which kicks off at mid-day with Boytits, and the running order is: 1pm: Matt Black, 2pm: Riptide, 3pm: Victorian Barbers. 4pm: Leggomen, 5.30pm: Seabass and the Fellas, 7pm: Peacock Suit, 8.30pm: Mad Hatters.

Meanwhile, round the corner and up the front at the Lazy Lizard, it’s their annual Hippy Fest, which starts downstairs at 3pm with Seabass, then it’s thus: 4.30pm: Blazin’ Strings, 6.30pm: Under The Carousel, 8.30pm: Chloe and Tom, 10.30pm: The Chase. Upstairs? Well, that’s another storey, with The Stereoironics at 8.30pm, followed by The Leggomen at 10.30pm and the Mad Hatters at midnight.

Just as well most of you have the Monday off then, really.

And finally, if you feel your life is somewhat lacking in the Balkan brass, Mediterranean surf rock, ska, swing, tuba, and electro beats department, and I know mine is, you might want to have a word with your doctor. Or you could head for Dorchester Arts Centre next Friday, April 10, for a gig by the rather groovy Gypsy Hill.

Taking their name from the district of SE London (and it’s slightly more exotic than Kidbrook, Catford or Sydenham, let’s face it…) they started out as a duo of DJ Kobayashi and the fabulously-named Herbert Newbert before evolving into a fully-fledged in-your-mush live band who have gone down a storm at Glastonbury, WOMAD and many other festivals across Europe. Tickets for next Friday are £10 from 01305 266926.

Till next time…

 

GIG GUIDE

TONIGHT (3)

Hustle (Finns, Weymouth)

Seabass, Chloe and Tom (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

Peacock Suit (Royal Oak, Quayside, Weymouth)

Brahms and Liszt and friends (The Star, Weymouth)

Jam Night (The Lounge, Colwell Centre, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Du Kane (White Hart, Weymouth)

Under The Carousel (Conservative Club, Easton, Portland)

Lucy Harvey (Weymouth Working Men’s Club, Mitchell St, Weymouth)

Acoustic Session (Victoria Inn, Chickerell, Weymouth)

Soul Party Band (Spice Ship, Preston, Weymouth)

Johnny Mac (Park Hotel, Weymouth)

Chris Woodchuck (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

The Mighty Fine (Royal Exchange, Portland)

The Tauntones (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Martin Freed (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Green Shutters, Portland)

No Fixed Abode (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

The Freaky Boys (Old Ship, Upwey, Weymouth)

Matt Black (King’s Arms, Weymouth)

SATURDAY (4)

The Vultures (Finns, Weymouth)

Mama Feelgood (Sailor’s Return, Weymouth)

Leggomen (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

Steve Nicholas (Conservative Club, Weymouth)

Quinn’s Quinney (Goldies, Dorchester)

The Veterans (Weymouth Working Men’s Club, Mitchell St, Weymouth)

Splinter (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Kathy (Park Hotel, Weymouth)

Sheryl Lee (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

The Mighty Fine (Victoria, Dorchester)

Smak Band (Centenary Club, Weymouth)

Live Wire (Wyke Regis Working Men’s Club, Weymouth)

Paul Ladd (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

BJ McCabe (Bridge Inn, Preston, Weymouth)

Left Right and Centre (Black Dog, Weymouth)

Gut and Steel (Brewery Square, Dorchester) 2pm.

Simon Gee (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

The Crack (Lugger Inn, Chickerell, Weymouth)

The Silhouettes (RBL Club, Marnhull)

Matt Lock (Cutter, Weymouth)

Skatmandu (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Four Go Mad In Dorset (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

SUNDAY (5)

Boytits, Matt Black, Riptide, Victorian Barbers, Leggomen, Seabass and the Fellas, Peacock Suit, Mad Hatters (Rendezvous, Weymouth) It’s Tea on the Quay, from mid-day.

Seabass, Blazing Strings, Under The Carousel, Chloe and Tom, The Chase, Stereoironics, Leggomen, Mad Hatters (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth) It’s the Hippy fest, from 3pm.

Hot Bacon (Finns, Weymouth)

The Duke and The Broad (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth) 3pm.

Replay (Red Lion, Hope Square, Weymouth) 2pm-5pm.

Aaron Carter (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) 3pm.

Rob Ryan (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) 9pm.

The Dinnerladies (Piddle Inn, Piddletrenthide) 8pm.

Amy Mayes (The Nook, Weymouth) 9pm.

Ricky Solo (Sailor’s Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) From 3pm.

Jam Night (Sailor’s Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) Mark Stacey hosts, from 8pm.

Sunday Session (Sydney Arms, Dorchester)

C Sharp Blues (Royal Exchange, Portland) 2pm.

Mumbo Machine (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Howling At The Moon (King’s Arms, Portesham) 9pm

Gut and Steel (Old Ship, Upwey, Weymouth) 2.30pm.

Sheryl Lee (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

The Mighty Fine (King’s Arms, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Royal Standard, Upwey, Weymouth) 6pm.

John Stone, DuKane (The Boot, Weymouth) From 6pm.

Million Dollar Bash (Three Compasses, Charminster)

MONDAY (6)

Finn (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Dave P, Chase Me (Rendezvous, Weymouth)

TUESDAY (7)

Martin Freed (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

WEDNESDAY (8)

Kathy (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Danx’s Open Mic (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Dave P’s Open Mic Night (Rendezvous, Weymouth) From 8pm.

Wessex Folk Night (Sailor’s Return, St Nicholas Street, Weymouth)

THURSDAY (9)

Leggomen (George, Weymouth)

Open Mic Surgery (Tom Browns High East St, Dorchester)

Steve’s Singalong (Duke of Cornwall, St Edmund Street, Weymouth)

Traditional Tune Session (Cove House Inn, ChiswelI, Portland)

Ukulele Sessions (Sailor’s Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) 8pm.

FRIDAY (10)

Gypsy Hill (Dorchester Arts Centre)

Jolly Boys Outing (Finns, Weymouth)

The Shakespearos (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Restless (Weymouth Working Men’s Club, Mitchell St, Weymouth)

Nina Garcia (Spice Ship, Preston, Weymouth)

Average Wyke Band (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Compass (Park Hotel, Weymouth)

Haze (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Finnian (Harbour Lights, Osprey Quay, Portland)

Leggomen (Royal Oak, Weymouth)

Jam Night (The Lounge, Colwell Centre, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Rich Young (Little Ship, Portland)

The Silhouettes (Royal Exchange, Portland)