YOU can bin your Bake-Off, chuck your Celebrity Jungle, annexe your Apprentice and exterminate your X-Factor.

There’s a new reality game show I’ve just invented called Sonic Serenade, which involves a lot of loud noises and quite a bit of mosh-related ballroom dancing.

And you’re invited to take part in the pilot programme which airs live next Saturday, November 21 at Finns in Weymouth.

There’s ample opportunity to mosh yourself mental with some top bands, with post grunge riff metal monsters Rocket Dolls headlining.

The Brighton trio of singer/guitarist Nikki Smash, bassist Tommy K and drummer Ben Knopfler (whose old man is a bit of a whiz on the ukulele, I hear) went down a storm last time they played at Finns so expect more of the same this time around.

 

Also turning up and no doubt turning it up are chaotic hardcore foursome Artemis, who hail from the capital of thrash metal that is Basingstoke, hard rockin’ rockers Graces Collide, again from Brighton, and local heroes Tate.

The Weymouth four-piece of Tom Hill, David James, Joe Isaacs and Dave Gigg come from the Kalinsky and This Fall stable and will be studio-bound soon to record a demo of their rather nifty songs with a view towards more gigs in the New Year.

And, hold the front page and shut the front door, just added to the bill for next Saturday are the delightfully named duo Anal Bleaching.

It’ll be probably worth the £3 on the door just to hear their version of Whiter Shade of Pale, Hole Lot of Love and their show-stopping masterpiece take on Wagner’s Ring Trilogy.

Moving along rather quickly, you’re probably in the mood for some world rhythms and some moody cinematic themes, with a bit of swaying and toe-tapping to boot.

Well, you’d best get yourself along to the Electric Palace in downtown Bridport on Wednesday, November 18 for the visit of the stupendous L’Orchestre Du Mont-Plaisante, the baroque supergroup from that London.

What’s that I hear you say? I bet they don’t do any Ethiopian jazz, Congolese soukous or Turkish psychedelia.

Well, I’m pleased to report they do do requests but don’t take my word for it.

As Radio 6 presenter Cerys Matthews intones: “I put on the music and it blew me away. It’s all over the front page, you gave me road rage,” she added.

Tickets are £10.50 from the box office on 01308 424901.

Till next time...

TONIGHT (13)

Elephant Sessions, John Maybey (Evershot village hall)

Fluke (Finns, Weymouth)

DuKane (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Compass (Park, Weymouth)

Alexis (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Jolly Boys Outing (Royal Exchange, Portland)

Sheryl Lee (Royal Oak, Weymouth)

Darren H (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Skimmity Hitchers (Spice Ship, Weymouth)

Fat Marrow Blues Band (Ropemakers, Bridport)

Stress (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

Martin Freed (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Stress (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

Zoe Schwarz Blue Commotion (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Surfing Birds (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Tripod (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

SATURDAY (14)

Splinter (Finns, Weymouth)

The Dinnerladies (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

The Remedy (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

The Katz (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

Jeffers and Jon (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Cher, Annie Lennox, David Bowie and Elton John (Kimberlin Club, Portland) Tribute night. Probably…

Barry Hobson (Conservative Club, Weymouth)

Blazing Strings (Royal Oak, Weymouth)

Replay (Ocean Rooms, Weymouth Pavilion) Moose fundraiser.

Haze (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Ocean Drive (Centenary Club, Weymouth)

Jilly Ann (Sydney Arms, Dorchester)

Jonathan Cotton (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Knight Life (Wyke Regis Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Peacock Suit (Market House, Weymouth)

Brian Donnelly (Park, Weymouth)

Vanilla Radio (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

Zoe Schwarz and Rob Koral (No 10, Bridport) 12.30-2.30pm.

Paul Laming (RBL Club, Portland)

Lauren Bannon (New Star Inn, Portland)

Billy Solo (Lugger, Chickerell, Weymouth)

Steve Nicholas (Bridge Inn, Preston, Weymouth)

Paisley (Aura, Weymouth)

Blind Dead McJones (Ropemakers, Bridport)

SUNDAY (15)

Matt Lock (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Andy Matthews (Park, Weymouth) 4pm.

Karen (Royal Oak, Weymouth) 3pm.

Ricky Solo (Sailor’s Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) From 3pm.

Jam Night (Sailor’s Return, Nicholas Street, Weymouth)

Open Mic Surgery (George, Dorchester)

Sheryl Lee’s Sunday Club (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) 4pm.

Six String Steve (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Folk Club (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

The Duke and The Broad with Ronnie Fedora (Globe, Weymouth) 7pm.

Tinkers Cuss (Ropemakers, Bridport) 4pm.

MONDAY (16)

Powelly, Chase Me (Rendezvous, Weymouth)

Sunset Café Stompers (Ropemakers, Bridport)

TUESDAY (17)

Open Mic (Park, Weymouth)

Open Mic with Martin Freed (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

WEDNESDAY (18)

Le Orchestre Du Mont Plaisante (Electric Place, Bridport)

Mark Stacey’s Open Mic (Rendezvous, Weymouth)

Jam Night (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth) Hosted by Blazing Strings

Georgie Broad (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Wessex Folk Night (Sailors Return, Nicholas Street, Weymouth)

Open Mic with Martin Freed (Belvedere, Weymouth)

THURSDAY (19)

Leggomen (George, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Open Mic Surgery (Tom Brown’s, High East St, Dorchester)

Steve’s Singalong (Duke of Cornwall, St Edmund Street, Weymouth)

Traditional Tune Session (Cove House Inn, ChiswelI, Portland)

Ukulele Sessions (Sailors Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) Strum on down from 8pm.

FRIDAY (20)

Mad Hatters (Finns, Weymouth)

Mike Walker (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Vanilla Radio(Royal Exchange, Portland)

Sheryl Lee (Royal Oak, Weymouth)

Total Madness (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Blue Rock (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Finn (Lugger, Chickerell, Weymouth)

KOAST (Ropemakers, Bridport)