WELCOME BACK. Yes, you: Half-human half-sofa, covered in empty bottles, wrapping paper, half-digested sprouts and your own dribble.

It’s okay now, it’s all over, you can come out.

And as the 16th century Irish saint St Bono de Yewtoo would have it, all is indeed quiet on New Year’s Day.

Which is just as well as you’ve no doubt got a thumping headache.

But, soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It’s only another Blues Night at the Electric Palace next Friday, January 8.

And they’re getting 2016 off to a belter with champion mouth-harp maestro Mat Walklate who will be joined by guitar ace Paulo Fuschi, bassist Bo Lee and bongo basher Adam Dawson for a night of classic 50s and 60s blues and a smattering of ska.

Tickets are a mere £10.50 from the box office on 01308 428354.

Sounds like a good deal to me.

Moving on, it’s farewell and all the very best to local legend Jack Daniels who is retiring from music after more than 30 years in showbusiness, which is a shame as he was just getting the hang of it.

As the singer, drummer, guitarist, bassist, compere, promoter, ceaseless charity fundraiser and all-round force of nature tells me: “I have had a great 30 years of playing and I have loved it.

“I have a proper job now so am looking forward to doing other things.”

Over the past few years, Jack has helped raise thousands of pounds for the Steve Charles Help a Friend charity.

“I’ll be leaving the HAF organisation in the capable hands of Ben King and the band Howling at the Moon will continue but without me.

“I do have commitments to play some gigs in 2016 and I will of course honour those, but I’m just looking forward to taking a back seat and getting my weekends back,” he adds.

Counselling is now available for ladies of a certain vintage who may have come over all unnecessary with this shocking news and best wishes go from the Echo gig guide to a top bloke.

If you’d like your gig or event featured in the Echo gig guide, send all the shizzle to gigs@dorsetecho.co.uk Till next time...

GIG GUIDE

TONIGHT (1)

Karen (Royal Oak, Weymouth) 4pm.

Nigel (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Average Wyke Band (Royal Portland Arms, Portland) 8pm.

The Crack (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth) 4pm.

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Steamer Ducks (Star, Weymouth)

SATURDAY (2)

Tripod (Finns, Weymouth)

Johnny King as Elvis (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Gut and Steel (Wyke Regis Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Matt Wallis (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Gut and Steel (Wyke Regis Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Sucker Punch (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

SUNDAY (3)

Lo Numbers (Park, Weymouth) 5pm.

Steve Wilson Jess Upton and Robbie McIntosh (King’s Arms, Portesham) 3pm.

Sheryl Lee’s Sunday Club (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) 5pm.

Freezer (Three Compasses, Charminster)

Ricky Solo (Sailor’s Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) 3pm.

Jam Night (Sailor’s Return, Nicholas Street, Weymouth)

Mark Stacey and friends host this regular Sunday acoustic jam session. Music from 8pm.

Open Mic Surgery (George, Dorchester)

Danny Adams (Boho, Weymouth) 7pm.

Blazing Strings (Ayya, Weymouth) 10pm.

Plinky Plonk Open Mic (Dolphin, Weymouth) 3pm.

MONDAY (4)

Songwriters night with George Hall (Boho, Weymouth)

Acoustic Session (Belvedere, Weymouth)

TUESDAY (5)

Jazz Guitar Nights (Boho, Weymouth)

Open Mic (Park, Weymouth)

WEDNESDAY (6)

Jam Night (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth) Hosted by Blazing Strings

Georgie Broad (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Dave P’s Open Mic Night (Rendezvous, Weymouth) From 8pm.

Wessex Folk Night (Sailors Return, Nicholas Street, Weymouth) Acoustic folk, here every Wednesday.

Open Mic Night with Martin Freed (Belvedere, Weymouth)

An Evening with… (Boho, Weymouth) Originals night.

THURSDAY (7)

Leggomen (George, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Open Mic Surgery (Tom Brown’s, High East St, Dorchester) All backline provided, come on down and have a play.

Traditional Tune Session (Cove House Inn, ChiswelI, Portland) Ukulele Sessions (Sailors Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) Strum on down from 8pm.

SoapBox Night (Belvedere, Weymouth) Music, poetry, comedy, whatever Hosted by DuKane.

FRIDAY (8)

Mat Walklate and Paulo Fuschi Quartet (Electric Palace, Bridport)

Dr Robert (Finns, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Tony H (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Total Madness (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Acoustic Session (Victoria Inn, Knights in the Bottom, Chickerell, Weymouth) 8pm.

The Katz (Little Ship, Portland)