BRACE yourself, ladies, for an absolute monster of a bank holiday weekend on the live music front.

As you can see from the listings, you’ve got gigs coming out of your ears so I’d see your doctor about that soon as, if I were you.

A few years ago, this was Trawler Race Weekend in Weymouth when people came from far and wide to watch some fishing boats race up and down the harbour, get a bit wet and then drink lots of beer and fall over.

Things have moved on a bit, because both the remaining fishing boats are fed up with racing each other, but people still drink a lot of beer and there’s still the opportunity to catch crabs later in the night.

And there are some mahoosive live music events to take the place of the chugging trawlers, starting of course with the Quayside Music Festival which takes place by the Town Bridge in Weymouth on Sunday and Monday, May 29 and 30.

Sunday kicks off at noon with Lauren B, with Matt Black, Peacock Suit and the Leggomen on the bill. And making their Quayside debut are two great bands.

The Brotherhood are a top-notch party band from South Wales who have worked with Westlife, Olly Murs and David Essex and played at shedloads of celeb weddings. And The Decatonics are a ten-piece ska bluebeat Mod soul outfit from just up the coast.

Monday’s line-up includes Till There Was Uke, The Mighty Fine, Triple Threat and, at last, Edd Bleach.

Over the bridge and up at The Boot, there’s a two-dayer starting at 3pm on Saturday, May 28, with Steve Dredge, Gut and Steel and the Leggomen on the bill. Sunday’s runners and riders include the Freaky Boys, Wilson and the Dinnerladies.

And it’s the second Rotary Fayre in the Square this weekend at Hope Square in Weymouth.

Kicking off at 10am on Sunday May 29, there’s musical delights from Acoustic Rooster, Danny Adams, Skint Imperials and the Average Wyke Band among others.

And Monday’s fare at the fayre includes Ed Hintze, Blazing Strings and Under the Carousel.

There’ll be collections on both days for local Rotary clubs, so give generously.

And also this weekend, there’s a rare chance to catch the guitar whizz that is Robbie McIntosh when he performs at the Boat That Rocks at Portland Marina on Sunday.

He’ll be joined by musical chums Ady Milward, Steve Smith and Chris Lonergan so expect expertly delivered quality choones.

BOOM! Now that’s what I call a weekend.

Take it easy, have a good week, and see you next time…

GIG GUIDE

TONIGHT (27)

Jo Harman, Nat Martin Band (Electric Palace, Bridport)

Adam Sweet and Saskia Griffiths (Corn Exchange, Dorchester)

TBC (Finns, Weymouth)

Dr Robert (Park, Weymouth)

Kyla Brox, Amy Mayes (The Boat That Rocks, Portland Marina)

Sea Bass and the Lass (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

The Mighty Fine (Spice Ship, Weymouth)

Mike Walker (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

The Rat Pack (The Rock, Weymouth)

Remedy (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Rob Ryan (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Loose Connections (Punchbowl, Portland)

Shooter (Royal Exchange, Portland)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Wilma Fingadoo (Café Jagos, Dorchester)

Southern Sinners (Royal Oak, Weymouth)

Hot Bacon (Red Lion, Gillingham)

SATURDAY (28)

Jonny Phillips, Steve Dredge, Gut and Steel, Nathan Jon, Leggomen (The Boot, Weymouth) From 3pm.

Blackwater Country, Edd Bleach (The Boat That Rocks, Portland Marina)

Drunk Education (Finns, Weymouth)

Hustle (Sailors Return, Weymouth Blazing Strings (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

Haywire (Wyke Regis Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Remix (Park, Weymouth)

Freezer (George, Dorchester)

Nick Sellars (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Barry Hobson (Conservative Club, Weymouth)

The Dinnerladies (Bull’s Head, Fordington, Dorchester)

Kyla Brox (The Boat That Rocks, Portland Marina)

Rocking 60s (Centenary Club, Weymouth)

Gut and Steel (George, Chideock)

The Mighty Fine (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

JD Acoustic Duo (Sun Inn, Lower Burton, Dorchester) 2-5pm.

Total Madness (Wyke Regis Social Club, Weymouth)

Frank E Finn (Bridge Inn, Preston, Weymouth)

Maxine and Lacey (RBL, Portland)

SUNDAY (29)

Lauren B, Matt Black, Powelly, Peacock Suit, The Brotherhood, The Decatonics, Leggomen (Quayside Music Festival, Town Bridge, Weymouth) From midday.

One for the Future, Louisa, WOW, Acoustic Rooster, Danny Adams, Skint Imperials, Average Wyke Band, Silhouettes, Leggomen (Fayre in the Square, Hope Square, Weymouth) From 1030am.

Freaky Boys, Matt Taylor and Ollie Coe, Lauren Bannon, Wilson, The Dinnerladies (The Boot, Weymouth) From 3pm.

Toby De Kretser, Seabass and the Lass, Blazin’ Strings, Under The Carousel, Leggomen (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth) Spring Break, from 5pm.

Danny Adams, Powelly, Side Door Project, Seabass and the Lass (Ayya, Weymouth)

Danny Adams and George’s Marvellous Medicine (Three Compasses, Charminster)

Freezer (Finns, Weymouth)

Hustle (The Nook, Weymouth)

Hannah Robinson (The Boat That Rocks, Portland Marina) 12.30pm.

Robbie McIntosh and Friends (The Boat That Rocks, Portland Marina) 7pm.

Dave Bowen Quartet (Trooper, Stourton Caundle) 1-3pm.

Ricky Solo (Sailor’s Return, Weymouth) From 3pm.

Open Mic Surgery (George, Dorchester)

Sheryl Lee’s Sunday Club (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) 4pm.

Bitter and Twisted (Britannia, Portland) 4pm.

JD Acoustic Duo (Sydney Arms, Dorchester) 6-8pm.

Bad Intention (Kings Arms, Portesham) 9pm.

MONDAY (30)

Lauren Bannon, Mr Bucket, Edd Bleach, Side Speedway, The Mighty Fine, Triple Threat (Quayside Music festival, Town Bridge, Weymouth) From midday.

Weymouth Ukeleleans, Dorset Wrecks, Dorset for Singing, Ed Hintze, Gut and Steel, Darron Garnett, Blazin’ Strings, Danny Adams, Under The Carousel (Fayre in the Square, Hope Square, Weymouth) From 1030am.

Songwriters night (Boho, Weymouth)

Acoustic session (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Georgie Broad (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Du Kane (New Vic, Weymouth)

TUESDAY (31)

Singalong with Nigel (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

WEDNESDAY (1)

Dave Bowen Quartet (Three Compasses, Charminster)

Georgie Broad (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Wessex Folk Night (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

Open Mic Night (Royal Exchange, Portland)

THURSDAY (2)

Leggomen (George, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Open Mic Surgery (Tom Brown’s, Dorchester)

Open Mic (Drift Bar, Hope Sq, Weymouth)

Traditional Tune Session (Cove House Inn, Portland)

Ukulele Sessions (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

SoapBox Night (Belvedere, Weymouth)

FRIDAY (3)

Bad Intention (Finns, Weymouth)

Average Wyke Band (Black Dog, Weymouth)

Suzy Mac (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

The Remedy (Park, Weymouth)

Sheryl Lee (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Acoustic Session (Drift Bar, Weymouth) On the move from the Victoria Inn because of the Wessex Folk festival.