MANY moons ago, in a land far, far away, four hooded figures huddled around a dark altar in a desperate attempt to appease the angry gods.

The four offered their very souls for a single chance to harness the unbridled power of the force known as…. ROCK.

And lo, their pleas were heard and, having deciphered the ancient scripts carved in tablets of stone, the four heroes saddled up their sturdy steeds and ventured to the heart of the volcano to forge their weapons of choice.

They loaded up their wagon with said weapons, a fearless Fender, a gallant Gibson, the trusty Tama, to make their weary way out of their historic yet savage walled city of, er, Bournemouth on the highway to hell that is the A31 for a date with the pick of destiny in ye olde pitte of moshe at Finns in Weymouth next Friday, July 1.

This is not the greatest band in the world, it’s not even a tribute. But it is a tribute to a tribute.

Yes, prepare to lube up thy earholes for Tenacious G, possibly the world’s only tribute to a tribute, who pay homage to the spoof rock band Tenacious D formed by Jack Black and Kyle Gass sometime in the last century.

If you’re in on the long line of comedy rock that includes Spinal Tap, The Rutles, the Barron Knights, Kanye West and the like, you’ll be wanting in on this one.

As the mighty G’s Jonny Browning tells me: “It’s all the anthemic, singalong tunes you’d expect from the D. We’ve only played around Bournemouth so far so we’re looking forward to tearing you another earhole next Friday.”

Electric dynamite, indeed.

Moving on, and those of you unfortunate enough not to be spending the weekend up to your neck in mud and other people’s effluent at Glastonbury will be thrilled to know there are a few festivals closer to home.

First up tomorrow, Saturday July 25, it’s Ellafest at Portesham, featuring The Leggomen, Ansell and Gretal, Hustle and many more in a fundraiser for the Dorset Air Ambulance.

And also this weekend in Weymouth, it’s the Outloud bash which takes place at various locations around the town centre tomorrow, Saturday, June 25 and Sunday, June 26.

Organised by the Lions and the Weymouth BID, there’s a host of bands and acts, including The Royal Ts, Bitter and Twisted, Darron Garnett, Dorset Wrecks and a whole shedload more.

For a full schedule, have a look at weareweymouth.co.uk/outloud And looking ahead to next weekend, there’s the Southcider three-dayer at Burton Bradstock, near Bridport.

Running from Friday, July 1 to Sunday, July 3, there’s a terrific line up, featuring the Dub Pistols, Buster Shuffle, King Porter Stomp, the Skimmity Hitchers and loads more.

For tickets, info and all the other shizzle have a look at southciderfestival.com And finally, the picture in last week’s gig guide of Fissures of Riddles, who play at Finns tonight, was taken by photographer Sasha Timson and we are happy to credit her.

GIG GUIDE

TONIGHT (24)

Duotone, Alex Hedley (Corn Exchange, Dorchester)

Fissure of Riddles, Kinasis, Perdisian (Finns, Weymouth)

Seabass and the Lass (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

Think Twice (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Bad Edukation (Bull’s Head, Fordington, Dorchester)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Karen (Park, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Hustle (George, Dorchester)

The Mighty Fine (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Cross The River (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Vanilla Radio (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Georgie Broad (Black Dog, Weymouth)

Speedway Snails Unshelled (Drift Bar, Weymouth)

Sam Green and the Midnight Heist (Boat That Rocks, Portland Marina)

The Silhouettes (Lugger, Chickerell, Weymouth)

The Leggomen (Spice Ship, Weymouth)

The Dry Old Skulls (Ropemakers, Bridport)

TBC (Royal Oak, Weymouth)

Tripod (Golden Lion Weymouth)

SATURDAY (25)

Leggomen, Ansell and Gretal, Wilson, Till There Was Uke, Hustle and more (Ella fest, Goose Hill, Portesham) Royal Ts, Darron Garnett, Toxic Fish and many more (Outloud Festival, various venues, Weymouth town centre) From 1030am.

Blackwater County (Finns, Weymouth)

Tripod (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

Mad Hatters (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

The Katz (RBL Club, Portland)

Seabass and the Lass (New Star Inn, Portland)

Barry Hobson (Conservative Club, Weymouth)

Highly Likely (Weymouth Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

The Silhouettes (Wyke Regis Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Bob Mallet (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Tommy Crawford (Park, Weymouth)

Replay (Shillingstone village hall)

Hot Bacon (Wyke Regis Social Club, Weymouth)

Fundraiser in aid of Great Ormond Street Hospital Endocrine Research Fund.

Tom Clements (Boat That Rocks, Portland Marina)

Total Madness (Black Dog, Weymouth)

Georgie Broad (Clifton, Portland)

Retro (RAFA Club, Weymouth)

Tom & Neil (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

Ricky Solo (Tides Inn, Weymouth)

Frank E Finn (Bridge Inn, Weymouth)

Doozer McDooze and Skeg (Ropemakers, Bridport)

Mama Feelgood (Royal Oak, Weymouth)

SUNDAY (26)

The Decadettes, Nick Barron, Dorset Wrecks, James Baker and many more (Outloud Festival, various venues, Weymouth town centre) From 10.30am

Grand Re-Union, Fuzzy and the Grooveriders, Andy Grant, No Mean Feat and many more (Sutton Poyntz Street Fair, Sutton Poyntz, nr Weymouth) Mr North (Park, Weymouth) 4pm.

Replay (Red Lion, Hope Sq, Weymouth) 2pm.

Dave Taylor (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Stacey Lou (Black Dog, Weymouth) 3-5pm.

Ricky Solo (Sailor’s Return, Weymouth) From 3pm.

Open Mic Surgery (George, Dorchester)

Sheryl Lee’s Sunday Club (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) 4pm.

Dave Bowen Quintet (Trooper Inn, Stourton Caundle) 1-3pm.

Howling at the Moon (Saxon Arms, Stratton) 6pm

Karen (Royal Oak, Weymouth) 3pm

JD Acoustic (The Closet, Weymouth) 10pm.

MONDAY (27)

Cheese, Wine and Jam (Boot, Weymouth)

Open mic Acoustic session (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Georgie Broad (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

TUESDAY (28)

Open Mic (Park, Weymouth)

The Leggomen (Boot, Weymouth)

Singalong with Nigel (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

WEDNESDAY (29)

Jam Session (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Georgie Broad (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Wessex Folk Night (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

Open Mic Night (Royal Exchange, Portland)

THURSDAY (30)

Seabass and the Lass (Ayya, Weymouth)

Leggomen (George, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Open Mic Surgery (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

Open Mic (Drift Bar, Hope Sq, Weymouth)

Traditional Tune Session (Cove House Inn, ChiswelI, Portland)

Ukulele Sessions (Sailors Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth)

FRIDAY (1)

King Porter Stomp, Duncan Disorderly and the Scallywags, Worry Dolls and many more (Southcider festival, Bredy Farm, Burton Bradstock)

Tenacious G (Finns, Weymouth)

The Remedy (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Drive By Jamming (Black Dog, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Acoustic Session (Victoria Inn, Chickerell, Weymouth) 8pm.

Alexis (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

The Secrets (Royal Oak, Weymouth)