TODAY’s bumper bonanza bun-feast of a bank holiday gig guide makes Tolstoy’s War and Peace read like a haiku, quite frankly.

Let’s kick off with the three days of fun and frolics at Dorchester’s Maumbury Rings which starts tomorrow, Saturday, August 26, with the eighth Anonymous festival, showcasing the young and up and coming talent round these parts. (That’s me out then…)

Rising stars Galaxy Thief are the headliners and there’s a must-see supporting cast, including Kennedy, Decimal 5, Last One Home and the marvellously-monickered Snot Rockets, who are worth checking out if only for their name alone.

And the following day, Sunday, August 27, it’s the turn of the Love Parade to bring back the sort of extreme debauchery and outrageousness not seen at Maumbury Rings since the Romans fed the lions to the Christians, with music from The Big Heavy, Lion Star, Cassie Connors and Sheila Tackya as Cher and many more.

The entertainment continues on the Monday, August 28, Blackwater County, Hardy and the Monuments, Adrift and many more on the bill.

It’s free admission for all three events, by the way.

Moving on and heading south to Weymouth, it’s the final Quayside Music Festival of the season by the Town Bridge and it’s a monster two-dayer on Saturday and Sunday, August 26 and 27.

Saturday’s line-up includes ska outfit Ten Bob Notes plus regular favourites Hustle, Under The Carousel and The Mighty Fine, with Blazing Strings taking the party indoors from 10pm.

Sunday’s runners and riders include The Chase, The Sisterhood, who are the feminine relations of The Brotherhood who went down a storm last time they played Quayside, The Leggomen, and The Stereoironics with Blazing Strings in The Anchor from 10pm. Shenanigans kick off at midday on both days.

Heading over the harbour and The Boot is staging a two-day bash with Saturday’s delights including Du Kane, Stacey Lou, Captain’s Beard and Danny Adams, while Sunday’s menu boasts Ansell and Gretal, Rich Baxter and Total Madness plus more.

It’s a 2pm start on both days.

And, staying over that side of town, the Old Town Hall is the venue for a rather special treat on Monday, August 28.

Aussie duo Cousin Leonard are currently playing a few dates in Europe and the UK and are at the Purbeck Folk festival this weekend, along with their great pal Ben Waters who has helped set up this last-minute gig.

Not only are Cousin Leonard tip-top folkie bluesy rockers, they’ve also appeared in not just Neighbours, but also Home and Away, which is the equivalent of at least an Oscar or an Olympic gold medal in my book.

Tickets for Sunday night’s show are £10 on the Old Town Hall door, which opens at 8pm.

Have a great bank holiday weekend, okay?

Till next time…

GIG GUIDE

TONIGHT (25)

The Mighty Fine (Finns, Weymouth)

Helena Mace (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

Freak Circus (Park, Weymouth)

Chris Woodchuck (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

V8 Hearts (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

The Big Heavy (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Dakota (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Talia (Spice Ship, Weymouth)

Georgie Broad (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Elona Holt (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

Total Madness (Tides Inn, Weymouth)

Sheryl Lee (Black Dog, Weymouth)

Strings & Reeds (Clifton, Portland)

Benny Mayhem (Ropemakers, Bridport)

Regulation 9 (Old Spa, Weymouth)

Tom Clements (Boat That Rocks, Portland Marina)

Soft Rock Cafe (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Nina Garcia (Fat Badger, Pebble Bank, Camp Road, Weymouth)

Martin Freed (Duke of Albany, Weymouth)

Gut and Steel (The Anchor, Burton Bradstock)

SATURDAY (26)

Seabass, Idenikit, Moonshine, Ten Bob Notes, Hustle, Under The Carousel, Mighty Fine, Blazing Strings (Quayside Music Festival, Town Bridge, Weymouth) From noon.

Lauren Bannon, Ben Waller, Du Kane, Stacey Lou, Captain’s Beard, Danny Adams (Boot, Weymouth) From 2pm.

Snot Rockets, Kennedy, Galaxy Thief, Decimal 5, Last One Home, L/A, Pop Club, Emma Rice (Anonymous festival, Maumbury Rings, Dorchester) From noon-6pm.

Tripod (Finns, Weymouth)

Powelly, Leggomen (Ayya, Weymouth)

Hustle (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

Tim Andrews (Conservative Club, Weymouth)

The Silhouettes (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

Elvis Pete (Park, Weymouth)

The Sneakers (Wyke Regis Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Sheryl Lee (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Hokum Society (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Alexander (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Jess Upton and the Guilty Pleasures (Crown Inn, Bridport)

Stevie P (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Million Dollar Bash (Star, Weymouth)

Georgie Broad (Black Dog, Weymouth)

Benny Mayhem Band (Hardy’s, Dorchester)

Bud Martin (Centenary Club, Weymouth)

Stacey Lou as Amy Winehouse (Rock, Weymouth)

John Stone (Royal Standard, Upwey, Weymouth)

Vanilla Radio (Ropemakers, Bridport)

Cuba Libre (Boat That Rocks, Portland Marina)

George (Bridge Inn, Preston, Weymouth)

Skinful (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

Red Crow (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Identikit (Fat Badger, Pebble Bank, Camp Road, Weymouth)

Strings and Reeds (Duke of Albany, Weymouth)

SUNDAY (27)

Lauren Bannon, Powelly, The Chase, Leggomen, The Sisterhood, Lo Numbers, Jolly Boys Outing, Stereoironics, Moonshine (Quayside Music Festival, Town Bridge, Weymouth) From noon.

Tom Clements, Ansell and Gretal, Seabass, Rich Baxter, Tripod, Total Madness (Boot, Weymouth) From 2pm.

Lion Star, Big Heavy, Cassie Connors, Sheila Tackya, Benny Mayhem, Neil Ross and many more (Love Parade, Maumbury Rings, Dorchester) From noon.

Kipper and Benny Wain, Vanilla Radio (Blue Vinny, Puddletown)

Bad Intention (Finns, Weymouth)

Powelly, Danny Adams, Identikit (Ayya, Weymouth)

Seabass, Under The Carousel, The Chase (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

Martin Maton (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) followed by..

Sheryl Lee (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Precinct of Sound (Belvedere, Weymouth)

George Michael Tribute (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Jess Upton and the Guilty Pleasures (Kings Arms, Portesham)

Steamer Ducks (Boat That Rocks, Portland Marina)

Martin Freed (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Sailor’s Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) From 3pm.

Rat Pack (New Vic, Weymouth) From 2pm

Nina Garcia (New Vic, Weymouth)

Stacey Lou (Black Dog, Weymouth) 4-6pm.

Identikit (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Scots Dan’s Open Mic (Duke of Albany, Weymouth) 4pm.

Gut and Steel (The George, Portland)

Tripod (The Boot, Weymouth) 7.30pm-8.30pm

MONDAY (28)

Blackwater County, Set Adrift, Outlander, Hardy and the Monument, Diniwe and the Hadedas, The A Listers (Maumbury Rings, Dorchester) From noon.

Cousin Leonard (Old Town Hall, Weymouth) £10. 8pm.

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Acoustic Session (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Replay (Greenhill Gardens, Weymouth) 2-4.30pm.

Roger’s Singalong (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Rat Pack (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Acoustic session (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Blazing Strings (New Vic, Weymouth)

Operatic Sean (Duke of Albany, Weymouth)

The Rocks Apes (Kimberlin Club, Portland)

TUESDAY (29)

Dom Johnson (Boot, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Jazz Session (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Martin Freed’s Open Mic (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Acoustic Session (Rock, Weymouth)

Danny Adams (New Vic, Weymouth)

WEDNESDAY (30)

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Du Kane (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Wessex Folk Night (Sailors Return, Nicholas Street, Weymouth

) Acoustic folk, here every Wednesday.

Open Mic Night (Royal Exchange, Portland)

Open Mic (Bull, Fordington, Dorchester)

Stacey Lou (New Vic, Weymouth)

THURSDAY (31)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Soapbox (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Farrago (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Leggomen (George, Weymouth)

Traditional Tune Session (Cove House Inn, ChiswelI, Portland)

Ukulele Sessions (Sailors Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) Strum on down from 8pm.

J.D. Acoustic (New Vic, Weymouth, 9pm)

FRIDAY (1)

Lo Numbers (Finns, Weymouth)

Vaughan Thomas (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Richard Cooper (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Stacey Lou (Park, Weymouth)

Acoustic Session (Victoria Inn, Chickerell)

Dakota (The Lugger, Chickerell, Weymouth from 9pm)