As the increasingly surreal (not to mention X-rated) antics of Love Island surged ever onwards tonight, we got a whole new sight to behold. And no, it wasn’t Jon’s todger.

Jon, Love Island
No, Jon! No one wants to see Little Jon tonight! (Joel Anderson/ITV/PA)

In fact it was five new ladies, all entering the contestants’ Balearic villa for a suitably seedy wining and dining sesh with Josh and Max. Here’s a little bit of what the girls think about themselves – and then what the viewers think about the girls…

Poppy, 22, from Cheshire

“I’m a bit of a daddy’s girl, I do have him wrapped round my little finger. I mix with the hottest celebrities and footballers, go to the hottest parties, guys run after me, I don’t run after guys.”

Kelly, 28, from Hull

“My friends describe me as crazy, wild, I like to go out and have a laugh and I don’t mind making a fool of myself. My ideal man would be tall, buff and tanned…and pretty.”

Ranni, 25, from Bradford

“I would say I’m a feminist, I hate guys who don’t treat women with respect. Most of the guys are pretty young and I think they need a real woman who can show the exactly what it’s like to become a gentleman.”

Angel, 20, from Leicester

“I’m really excited to be going in the villa and if I do get picked I’ll be really happy about it.”

Jasmine, 23, from… USED TO DATE JORDAN

Yeah, this didn’t go very well. Instead of focusing on the two-guys-five-girls dining session (how was that supposed to ever work anyway?) the lads got “Hulk” Jordan down to chat with his ex.

Turns out Jordan dumped her by text after a year-long relationship. He didn’t seem to understand why she was upset with this, which made poor Jasmine cry and throw her glass in the pool as she stormed out.

Hulk was like this:

And if Jon doesn’t make enough gossip mag money out of this show afterwards, then we’re glad he’s always got a career as an impressionist ahead of him.

But would Jasmine’s brief appearance on the show impact on Jordan and Zoe’s relationship?

Actually Zoe took it all in her stride, understanding why Jasmine was so annoyed but inevitably siding with Jordan. It’s fair to say “Hulk” wasn’t having the best night though. Just remember, don’t make him angry…

As for the five-girl date for Josh and Max… To cut a long story short, all the new girls left and it just made Max remember how much he fancies Jess. Yes, Love Island is about as confusing for the viewers as it is for it’s hormonally super-charged contestants…