Life of ups and downs

11:30am Friday 10th October 2008

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ONE in four people will be diagnosed with some sort of mental health problem in their lifetime.

Public understanding of mental health has improved enormously over recent years, but prejudiced attitudes still remain deeply ingrained.

World Mental Health Day today aims to raise awareness of the issues surrounding mental health.

MARTIN LEA today speaks to a sufferer of manic depression who wants to talk about his experiences in order to continue raising awareness of self harm and suicide.

STUART Skinner can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

“I feel better than I have for a long time,” the 28-year-old admits.

Back living in Weymouth, Stuart feels more confident about the future and is seeking work, preferably as a campaign co-ordinator for a mental health charity.

But his journey up until now has not been easy. Much of the struggle, he believes, can be blamed on 'lazy diagnosis' and being prescribed inappropriate drugs.

It was only recently that Stuart was diagnosed as having manic depression, or bipolar disorder.

Abused as a child, Stuart started self harming and experienced suicidal depression from the age of 19.

Health professionals told him the depression was because of the abuse he suffered.

Stuart disagrees.

“I think it may have compounded it but it didn’t cause it. I believe manic depression is in the genes.”

He adds: “I was a gifted child and there was so much pressure on me to succeed, as there is with so many young people.

“It was expected that I would do well. It felt like my life was being planned out for me but I was clueless and I feared I would mess up and my life would be ruined.”

Stuart explains that he would get involved with different things to try and cope, like going to a summer camp in America, or believing that starting a university course would be a 'fresh start'.

“It’s like putting a plaster over a dam. It will stop things for a moment and it makes you believe everything will be okay.”

He struggled at university, keeping his problems to himself, and was prescribed anti-depressants despite his reservations. His depression worsened after suffering serious side-effects to the medication and Stuart took an overdose of valium, also prescribed by his GP.

After Stuart’s friend took his own life in 2003, his studies began to suffer. Stuart says that he received poor support from his university tutors and from his GP.

“I wanted to come off the medication but their view was: 'Don’t you want to get better?'”

After university Stuart went to work for a television company in London.

But city life was to take its toll and as Stuart borrowed more money he fell deeper into a 'manic state' and his long-term relationship broke up, prompting a move back to Dorset.

He recalls: “When you’re in that manic state you have all these wonderful thoughts and you believe you have the universe in your hands. You feel fine, great, but then you sink back down.

“It’s like a pendulum swinging.”

He made his own documentary, investigating the issues faced by people who self-harm and by young men with mental health problems.

He didn’t realise at the time but the project would serve as a vessel for self-healing and lead Stuart into getting the help he needed.

At the end of his tether, Stuart checked himself into hospital last year where he was seen by a psychiatrist. This led to a diagnosis of manic depression and the prescribing of the correct medication.

He says: “It’s like a double-edged sword because finally everything made sense but on the other side you’re thinking there’s a miracle cure. It sinks in that it’s something you have to live with.

“Life is certainly a lot easier. It’s about acceptance; making peace with the fact you have an illness but that it doesn’t detract from the person I am. It’s part of me.

“There have been some positive experiences. People with manic depression tend to be creative people.”

Last year Stuart felt confident enough to undertake a 4,000-mile bike ride through Asia to raise funds for the mental health charity Rethink.

He is involved with an organisation that provides mentoring for young men, which uses mythology as a form of therapy, and he belongs to a support group.

Speaking about other people’s attitudes to mental illness, Stuart says: “They shamed me, which is a poisonous emotion.

“I self-harmed to avoid feeling shame, yet I felt I could never escape because of the stigma attached to people who self-harm. I felt isolated, disconnected and lost.”

Stuart is speaking out about his experiences in order to continue raising awareness of young male self harm and suicide.

He says: “I want to promote change in anyway I can. I fear sharing my experiences but I see stepping into this fear as part of my journey in overcoming my trauma and the shame that I feel. My own actions will determine how my story evolves.”