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Life with Weymouth's seagulls

10:22am Wednesday 21st July 2010 in Your letters

A SEAGULL dive-bombs me every time I go outside as it has a nest in a neighbour’s garden.

A group of seagulls rip all my rubbish bags open while waiting for them to be collected, leaving my rubbish all over the road for everyone to see.

A flock of seagulls mistake my car for a toilet on a regular basis.

Can we turn the Southwell turbine on again please?

IAN JONES, Lanehouse Rocks Road, Weymouth

Comments(30)

Sideshow Bob says...
1:33pm Wed 21 Jul 10

About time there was a cull on the 'rats with wings' I can't let the kids play out on our decking as the Herring Gulls keep attacking them, one even succesfully dive-bombed our cat off of the fence the other day. Won't do it for much longer though, I think it might need a Bicarb of Soda breakfast...........
........

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Duckorange says...
1:35pm Wed 21 Jul 10

"A flock of seagulls mistake my car for a toilet on a regular basis."
.
It's not just you, mate. I caught one of Tears For Fears wiping his bum on my front doormat.

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Shedfire says...
1:43pm Wed 21 Jul 10

I arrived back at the station the other night from work and found members of Depeche Mode frottaging themselves on my bicycle saddle.

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Duckorange says...
1:52pm Wed 21 Jul 10

That's NOTHING. Alison Moyet. Topless sunbathing. My flat roof.

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Shedfire says...
2:39pm Wed 21 Jul 10

My wife's friend says she caught John Foxx , underneath The Bridges in his UNDERPANTS!

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Duckorange says...
2:55pm Wed 21 Jul 10

I am also led to believe that Orchestral Manouevres in the Dark are subject to an Anti Social Behaviour Order after leaving a floater in the penguin pool at the Sea Life Centre before running amok at the Pirate Crazy Golf.

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stephen r says...
2:59pm Wed 21 Jul 10

Unbelievably, I was bothered by Housemartins the other day. Winged terrorists we call them. It was Happy Hour at Wetherspoons, so far from quiet. Bold as brass they were.

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uptheyazoo says...
3:39pm Wed 21 Jul 10

I've told Alf not to sunbathe on your roof Mr Duckorange, as lots of people will complain but apparently it's Only You.

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Genghis says...
4:05pm Wed 21 Jul 10

Sorry, I can only comment on the Cradle of Filth.

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Duckorange says...
4:23pm Wed 21 Jul 10

It gets worse. I was on the way back from the Old Castle the other night,, when I spotted a young lady in the gutter, rather the worse for wear from drink, and bowking rich, brown vomit into a drain.
"Excuse me, ma'am," I said chivalrously, "Can I possibly be of any assistance?"
She turned her head toward me to reveal that she was no lady, but the hairy one from 80s pop icons Kajagoogoo, utterly in his cups, tunelessly singing "Too Shy".
Utter disgrace.

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RobinofLocksley says...
4:27pm Wed 21 Jul 10

"....leaving my rubbish all over the road for everyone to see..." Who goes and looks at other people's rubbish?
I had that Mark Almond in the back of my cab once.
Er, perhaps I could have phrased that better..............

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boristhebold says...
6:00pm Wed 21 Jul 10

Quality replies!
Makes a change from the usual **** that happens on here.

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tittypoos says...
6:13pm Wed 21 Jul 10

hahaha funniest comments for ages!

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Duckorange says...
6:46pm Wed 21 Jul 10

Then there was the time my wife and I were crossing the harbour by the rowing-boat ferry, when who should get in but poor, dead singer Falco, who had recently topped the charts with his slice of Euro-pop "Rock Me Amadeus". Halfway across the harbour he stood up and violently rocked the boat until an old lady fell out, which caused him no end of mirth.
I don't know what it is about this town, but it brings out the very worst of 80s music stars. Just don't get me started on Shakin' Stevens. (This is your cue to ask me about Shakin' Stevens)

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lancepremier says...
10:56pm Wed 21 Jul 10

Imagine my surprise last week when I arrived home early from work to find my wife being spitroasted by Bros! Even now, Luke Goss's sweaty, gurning face still gives me sleepness nights..

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Duckorange says...
11:25pm Wed 21 Jul 10

lancepremier wrote:
Imagine my surprise last week when I arrived home early from work to find my wife being spitroasted by Bros! Even now, Luke Goss's sweaty, gurning face still gives me sleepness nights..
You do, of course, mean they were having a barbecue in your back garden to which neither you nor Adam Ant were invited.
And not the other meaning.

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boristhebold says...
8:08am Thu 22 Jul 10

I found 80's pop sensation Prince splattered on my car......
..... apparently he's a little sh1t....

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greenglasses says...
8:35am Thu 22 Jul 10

HEHEHE thank you all!....but can I just say Bros would never have behaved in such a way...... their bottle tops on their shoes would have rattled 'too much'!

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FECKIT says...
5:49pm Thu 22 Jul 10

I shall have to get me some more seagulls I may have found the solution to pesky cat control; and entertainment of watching them being dive-bombed, may even be a new olympic sport!

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Duckorange says...
6:26pm Thu 22 Jul 10

FECKIT wrote:
I shall have to get me some more seagulls I may have found the solution to pesky cat control; and entertainment of watching them being dive-bombed, may even be a new olympic sport!
Wait... this discussion's about seagulls?
Where do I complain about Howard Jones roadrage at Littlemoor lights? Talk about throwing off your mental chains...

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boristhebold says...
6:48pm Thu 22 Jul 10

We'll be burning the Midnight Oil on this one thinking of others!

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boristhebold says...
6:50pm Thu 22 Jul 10

Getting felines to attack the Byrds, wow that's Cool For Cats but I'm sure we can Squeeze some more out.

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FECKIT says...
8:15pm Thu 22 Jul 10

duckorange if you had read the first comment that is where you'll find the reference to cats & seagulls. I am pro seagulls, flying rats and boomtown rats!

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bizzylizzy says...
9:08pm Thu 22 Jul 10

Thank you to some of the usual suspects for making my working day bearable today. I haven't laughed so much for ages! There are a lot of very witty people living in the area - carry on the good work! (makes a change from moaning about road-works and lights/lasers).

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bretthehe says...
10:25pm Thu 22 Jul 10

i wait for the dustbin men to come then put my rubbish out allow the seagulls as they trash my nieghbour rubbish and watch me put my rubbish out but they leave mine alone lool i look up the street and they trashed everyones apart from mine i bet they not stupid knowing im up and leave mine alone i kick them in the head if i catch them

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Duckorange says...
11:21pm Thu 22 Jul 10

bretthehe wrote:
i wait for the dustbin men to come then put my rubbish out allow the seagulls as they trash my nieghbour rubbish and watch me put my rubbish out but they leave mine alone lool i look up the street and they trashed everyones apart from mine i bet they not stupid knowing im up and leave mine alone i kick them in the head if i catch them
Sage advice there from Midge Ure out of Ultravox.

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bretthehe says...
11:34pm Thu 22 Jul 10

Duckorange wrote:
bretthehe wrote: i wait for the dustbin men to come then put my rubbish out allow the seagulls as they trash my nieghbour rubbish and watch me put my rubbish out but they leave mine alone lool i look up the street and they trashed everyones apart from mine i bet they not stupid knowing im up and leave mine alone i kick them in the head if i catch them
Sage advice there from Midge Ure out of Ultravox.
HEHEHE i youtube it cool

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RobinofLocksley says...
12:39pm Fri 23 Jul 10

Duckorange wrote:
bretthehe wrote: i wait for the dustbin men to come then put my rubbish out allow the seagulls as they trash my nieghbour rubbish and watch me put my rubbish out but they leave mine alone lool i look up the street and they trashed everyones apart from mine i bet they not stupid knowing im up and leave mine alone i kick them in the head if i catch them
Sage advice there from Midge Ure out of Ultravox.
Agree completely - succinct, and to the point.
I hope the writer of the letter that started this learned discourse will take it on board.

Incidentally, I've recently learned that seagulls don't like really cold things. So if your fridge needs defrosting, try breaking off some of the larger pieces and chucking them at the pesky varmints.
An Icicle Works!

I'll get me coat

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FECKIT says...
7:07pm Sun 25 Jul 10

If we were talking about throwing stuff at cats and dogs I would have been lynched, but as it's seagulls they are seen to be a pest. We live near the sea; and we leave (well not me personally as I put everything in a bin), our filth about so they pilfer it to feed themselves and their young - if you hate this then LEAVE, go back to London or wherever dark place you lived before.
If man didn't muck around with mother nature there would be enough in the sea for them to feed off so that they wouldn't have to come inland to get any scrap they could.

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boristhebold says...
9:36pm Sun 25 Jul 10

The dark place I came from before I joined the RAF and ended up in Peterborough was a place called Weymouth (born and bred)..... you may have heard of it but I wouldn't call it a dark place.
Outdated perhaps but not dark.

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