Weymouth's women's refuge is to close (From Dorset Echo)
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Weymouth's women's refuge is to close
8:45am Friday 31st July 2009 in
A REFUGE for battered women is to be axed – because it doesn’t cater for men.
The safe haven in Weymouth has provided emergency shelter for more than 1,000 women and their children fleeing abusive partners.
Money used to fund the refuge will now be used to help both female and male victims of domestic violence in the community.
Dorset county councillor Brian Ellis, who was part of a group that set up the refuge in 1986, has slammed the decision and described it as ‘a step backwards’.
He said: “I have seen documentation that states that it will close and one of the reasons given is that it does not cater for men.
“It doesn’t make sense. The women who use the refuge are there because of what men have done to them and their children. There are other ways of helping male victims of domestic violence.
“When people suffer from domestic violence they need an escape route so it’s just incredible that this decision has been taken,” he said.
“I think it’s a step backwards by two decades – we should be seeking to improve services not going backwards.
“We need to think about the people that are affected in this – they need an immediate escape and that’s what’s being taken away.”
Supporters of the Weymouth Women’s Refuge have been left ‘shocked and stunned’ after news that funding shortages will force the refuge to close on March 31, 2010.
The bombshell move – by the Dorset Supporting People commissioning group – has also been met with frustration by councillors, social workers and refuge users.
The group is a partnership of Dorset County Council, all six district and borough councils, NHS Dorset and Dorset Probation.
At present the group funds three Dorset refuges with £82,780 spent annually to run the Weymouth refuge, £127,794 to a West Dorset refuge and £165,516 to a North Dorset refuge.
The changes will see the Dorset Supporting People Commissioning Group moving limited funds towards an expanded outreach service to support male and female domestic violence victims in the community.
In the last year, from July 1, 2008, until June 30, 2009, a total of 6,323 people have reported domestic violence to Dorset Police.
Supporting People manager for the county council, Anthony Wilsdon, said: “An assessment by the Dorset Domestic Violence Housing Group on behalf of the Supporting People Commissioning Group identified the need for a county-wide outreach service to support more people in their own homes, where it is safe to do.
“There is also the need to make support open to male victims and families with older male children as well as females.
“The task of the group is to use the limited funding available in the best possible way to meet the needs of vulnerable people across the whole county, and we feel this is the most beneficial use of funds.
“The outreach service will help many more Dorset people, and victims of domestic abuse seeking refuge accommodation will still have two refuges available to them in the county, along with others in Bournemouth or Poole.”
The women living in the refuge have been told and Stonham Housing Association, the provider of the refuge, is working to find the women alternative accommodation as well as trying to retain the expertise of the refuge staff.
Stonham area manager Beverly Williams said: “Domestic abuse affects thousands of people across Dorset.
“Over the 14 years that we’ve been running the Weymouth Refuge, we’ve helped more than 1,000 women and their children experiencing domestic abuse.
“However, we are increasingly aware that the refuge on its own can’t reach every woman that needs it, and there are male victims of domestic abuse who need our support, too.
“This is why we are supporting the creation of a countywide service for the people of Dorset, so that everyone in the county has access to the vital support they need.”
After hearing the news Coun Ellis said: “These concerns have been bubbling over for ages – now the decision has been made without going through the democratic process of the council.
“It has just been announced without the elected members who are the ones supposed to stick up for vulnerable people in the community.”
A domestic violence outreach worker, who did not wish to be named, said she was shocked to hear about the closure.
She said: “If there was a need for this 20 years ago then I can’t see why not now. As far as I am aware, they are always full and there are women constantly trying to get into a refuge like that.
“I just don’t understand the reasoning behind it – I am just completely shocked.
“I also don’t understand why these services keep being pulled from Weymouth – why us?”
Presently three workers at the Dorset Women’s Outreach Project work within the community and provide a vital service for the victims.
Comments(69)
Party gal
says...
9:36am Fri 31 Jul 09
Perhaps a full enquiry as to how these people operate needs to be put into action? I just read the Supporting People Inspection Report (Audit) for 2008, that in itself explains just how incompetent these people are that run the show. I sincerely hope the Refuge gets this much needed life-line re-instated, good luck!!!
Vernon Tremelo
says...
10:15am Fri 31 Jul 09
doogieduggie wrote:Are you actually of this world?
SO? With several THOUSAND Womens refuges in the Country many of which are bastions of false allegations assistance by the Abuse industry and DV industry which make a lot of money for Lawyers and feminist quango's sorry oops I mean "Charities?" they still have many, many places to go. The men only have a few I know of in the Whole UK the last time I looked. So now people want to spend the money equally for men and women they are up in arms? Take a good look at WHO is up in arms exactly:-)...I rest my case. go see: Angryharry.com
You definitely seem to come from another planet!
Nobody can be as stupid as you - so you must be doing it on purpose to get a reaction.
Atalanta
says...
10:20am Fri 31 Jul 09
The solution to this one is simple: make it so that it caters for men as well.
Phaedrus
says...
10:31am Fri 31 Jul 09
portlandresident
says...
10:55am Fri 31 Jul 09
I agree that there should be places that support men, as not all women are perfect! However, they shouldn't all be under the same roof!!
doogieduggie
says...
11:48am Fri 31 Jul 09
It should also be noted it is now LAW that the treatment of MEN should show no biased or discrimination when it comes to healthcare and others such services, so far this is not being enacted in any service. It is way overdue that the supporters have made this decision and I fully support them in doing so! I commend their action whole heartedly and expect to see a LOT more of it.
Brian Ellis? Liberal, you are still in the employ of a law practise that does family law and D.V cases are you not? Whether or not you still are it is a very, very lucrative area of Law that profits immensely from this “industry” and it is very much in the interests of all Law firms dealing with this matter to assist this manipulated view is it not? Please tell us what other "options" there are for men suffering D.V? I would be very interested when weighing it up to all options available for Women?
Perhaps some should read these links below to gain a better insight into just how hideous and disgusting these matters are and how corrupted the whole D.V and abuse industry is.
The really shameful thing is that while feminists and liberalists are using “D.V” and “Abuse” as a platform to pump out false propaganda and manipulate opinions and the lawyers grease up their profits, those Men and Women who really need the services and who are “genuinely” suffering will continue to do so because of the abuse of it all.
The whole business needs to be stripped out and started again without all the scum that floats around in it making profit and political gain from its misuse got rid of! Start with the LAWYERS! They operate on a adversarial system which profits most by keeping hate, false allegations and misleading information at the forefront. This is how they maximise profits.
A few items that may balance up yet another Biased and misleading article on this subject by the Echo!
This first link/ letter very relevant to this story!
http://www.angryharr
y.com/esVictimsOfDom
esticViolence.htm
also:
http://angryharry.co
m/index.html
http://tinyurl.com/l
8svr2
http://tinyurl.com/l
eyzfg
doogieduggie
says...
11:58am Fri 31 Jul 09
"While women clearly suffer most from domestic violence, the 2001/02 British Crime Survey (BCS) found 19 per cent of domestic violence incidents were reported to be with male victims"
NOT TRUE!
Perhaps if you properly researched these things (and like some of us have spent years doing do) you will find some 70-80% of D.V against males goes unreported as the man generally gets treated like garbage and mocked and as such it will not show on that survey. Please spend some time finding out the truth.
If you really want to understand the truth about this, throw away the News papers because you will only EVER get here!.
doogieduggie
says...
12:00pm Fri 31 Jul 09
"While women clearly suffer most from domestic violence, the 2001/02 British Crime Survey (BCS) found 19 per cent of domestic violence incidents were reported to be with male victims"
NOT TRUE!
Perhaps if you properly researched these things (and like some of us have spent years doing do) you will find some 70-80% of D.V against males goes unreported as the man generally gets treated like garbage and mocked and as such it will not show on that survey. Please spend some time finding out the truth.
If you really want to understand the truth about this, throw away the News papers because you will only EVER get here!.
doogieduggie
says...
12:05pm Fri 31 Jul 09
I would not support them being under the same roof either that IS a stupid idea but do you trust an Echo reporter to have worded this correctly? Perhaps it is being axed because the funding is not being spent on men also? The funding should be equally spent on both Men AND women, obviously within separate refuges.
Techie
says...
12:25pm Fri 31 Jul 09
doogieduggie
says...
12:32pm Fri 31 Jul 09
Well I won't.
Vernon Tremelo
says...
1:08pm Fri 31 Jul 09
doogieduggie wrote:And... relaaaax....
Of course Techie, like a true liberalist you use the "shut up policy" of debate. If the facts don't fit YOUR thinking, SHUT UP! Well I won't.
doogieduggie
says...
1:27pm Fri 31 Jul 09
Isn't if funny how the liberal minded instead of talking seriously and debating such an important issue want to poo-poo anyone that brings up facts that do not fit in with their thinking?
Now Vernon, relaaaax.
doogieduggie
says...
2:18pm Fri 31 Jul 09
It is a shame it is not given much more serious and wide open public debate without the Lawyers, Social workers, Politicians, Quango's and so called charities who all contribute a great deal to the misinformation and profit greatly both politically and financially from the abuse of the whole spectrum of issues contained within the term "Domestic violence".
Once you have looked into such things properly and seen what massive Political power is to be gained from this abuse and misdirection and how many Billions of Pounds are involved the whole subject takes on a new form and the motives become a lot clearer.
In the meantime it will continue, and those genuine cases in need of real help will lose out to the resources wasted on falsehoods, false allegations and those deviants willing to capitalise on it.
Duckorange
says...
2:56pm Fri 31 Jul 09
In the meantime, I'd advise you to stop watching Fox Newsand listening to TalkSport. It's melting your brain
CoogarUK.com
says...
3:12pm Fri 31 Jul 09
doogieduggie
says...
3:25pm Fri 31 Jul 09
It always amuses me how the sheep flock?
Genghis
says...
3:27pm Fri 31 Jul 09
My own opinion on the OHEC story is that (Not) Supporting People have just gone and made another crass decision based on the flimsiest of excuses. Yes more needs to be done for men in Domestic Violence situations. Trashing an existing and successful unit won't achieve that. At least they will be giving equality to men and women as neither will get the help they need.
doogieduggie
says...
3:32pm Fri 31 Jul 09
All avoiding the facts presented and not willing to discuss them to any degree? Simple fact is the women have more than enough resources, an abundance in fact, compared to men, this is a plain and simple fact! So it is only right that the field should be levelled.
That's not angry, but you are :-)
doogieduggie
says...
3:45pm Fri 31 Jul 09
I did say that I do not always agree with Angry Harry's opinions and presentations, in fact much of the good information get's lost in the layout of his site and sometimes watered down by the "humour" or "sarcasm" that is attached, but it is a blog and not an official site so I guess he is entitled to add what he likes.
What his site/Blog is good for is collating information from many sources both official and public and letting people see the oft covered over counter arguments and glaring under representation of men that is without question kept from mainstream media.
Take the Echo for example. Type in "Domestic violence" and do a search, now see how many of those stories are ONLY about women's issues and often use hyperbole or exaggeration with just one or two giving a lip service to the Male side of the issues? Why?
There is also no doubting in any reasonable persons mind that certain sections of society both private and commercial/political exploit this issue greatly for their own gain whether it be political or financial.
In doing so they undermine the whole issue and cause a great deal of suffering to many people.
It is of course a highly emotive subject but I have the basic principal that for all these people (usually liberals) who shout for "equality" and "rights" why is it they are never shouting for those things when it comes to Men?
Perhaps it is because there is not as much to be gained out of it?
Duckorange
says...
3:59pm Fri 31 Jul 09
Anything you'd like to declare before you continue making a fool of yourself?
freeopinion
says...
4:09pm Fri 31 Jul 09
I am sorry if this offends anybody but i come from a generation that still considers woman to be the fairer weaker sex and should be treated accordingly.
Genghis
says...
4:18pm Fri 31 Jul 09
doogieduggie wrote:The real problem of male victims of domestic violence isn't a conspiracy by the authorities, newspapers or women's groups. It's a lot simpler. The problem stems from men ourselves. It's always been part of male psychology not to admit to problems whether it's domestic violence, mental health issues or general health issues. It's changing slowly and yes lots more needs doing but shutting down a desperately needed facility for women on the spurious grounds used by (Not) Supporting People is going to help nobody.
Yes Ghengis, thank you for a more reasonable, intelligent approach. I did say that I do not always agree with Angry Harry's opinions and presentations, in fact much of the good information get's lost in the layout of his site and sometimes watered down by the "humour" or "sarcasm" that is attached, but it is a blog and not an official site so I guess he is entitled to add what he likes. What his site/Blog is good for is collating information from many sources both official and public and letting people see the oft covered over counter arguments and glaring under representation of men that is without question kept from mainstream media. Take the Echo for example. Type in "Domestic violence" and do a search, now see how many of those stories are ONLY about women's issues and often use hyperbole or exaggeration with just one or two giving a lip service to the Male side of the issues? Why? There is also no doubting in any reasonable persons mind that certain sections of society both private and commercial/political exploit this issue greatly for their own gain whether it be political or financial. In doing so they undermine the whole issue and cause a great deal of suffering to many people. It is of course a highly emotive subject but I have the basic principal that for all these people (usually liberals) who shout for "equality" and "rights" why is it they are never shouting for those things when it comes to Men? Perhaps it is because there is not as much to be gained out of it?
The refuge has helped many families and still is needed.
JamesYoung
says...
4:18pm Fri 31 Jul 09
It is a very real issue.
In October last year, my son was trying to brain my other son with a stick. I slapped my son and left a small red mark on his cheek.
I was quite upset by this myself as it was a misjudgement.
I told my son to tell the truth if anybody asked, thinking this would be the end of it.
But oh no, i was asked to go to Weymouth Police station (i live in Dorchester and at the time was suffering oesaphagitis, had not been able to eat for two weeks, had lost two stone and was not supposed to drive). Thinking it would be a 5 minute chat to sort things out i went along anyway. I was arrested and left with a caution for battery.
Social services also became involved and inferences were made of a wider problem. The social worker inferred to my wife that i was controlling, spoke to our GP and found that my wife had visited the doctor that week, and asked if that was because i had been aggressive towards her, etc, etc.
In the end, of course, sanity prevailed, but the system would not accept that i was a father who slapped his kid not because he wanted to hurt him, but because he wanted to deal with a dangerous situation.
Everyone is entitled to a view. Some will doubtless think i am some kind of a monster, but when the "new approach" to discipline is resulting in the kind of behaviour we see in our streets today i am not inclined to take much notice.
Let's not pretend that if you are a white, working, middle class man in this country, you have very little going for you.
So Dougie, i am entirely behind you.
JamesYoung
says...
4:21pm Fri 31 Jul 09
That said, it is clearly a scandal that this facility is being closed down.
doogieduggie
says...
4:50pm Fri 31 Jul 09
I did not and do not condone his actions at all. He should be punished for what he did and it was wrong, simple.
However, it struck me as odd that I did not sense an ounce of anger, violence or anything in him at any point when I was around him. To the best of my enquiries he has no criminal record of anything I am led to beleive. What got me is nobody was asking what caused it? What may have provoked it ?
If it was a women doing the exact same thing there would have been a myriad of excuses, and reasons to cover it in the media and law, there always is.
I guess we may never know what caused Mr Kiss to do it but to report it in such fashion when compared to how the same thing is reported if it was a woman leaves many questions as to why this happens?
Once again at no point am I condoning or justifying what he did, merely questioning the coverage, attitudes and sentencing.
Why can a man not use the same defence arguments as women for the same crime? For instance why can provocation not be a defence for murder or violence for a man as it so often is for a women? We are all flesh and blood **** us do we not bleed?
I see no difference here, In general, Man provokes wife for many years and she stabs him, Court say’s “provocation” she walks, this has happened on many occasions.
So, Man gets provoked by wife for years beats her..Gets life in Prison?
Where is the balance and justice in that? That was my point. Is the law and system saying that Women are outside justice? Is it saying that men must accept abuse from women?
The reporting was not in keeping with the same reporting style on the same crime had it been a woman, I wanted to ask WHY and point this out?
Maybe my way of putting things does not fit with you and for that I apologise as I do not declare myself a spokesperson of anything but myself.
Nobody can deny the total inequity of the situation.
A fine example a few weeks ago, a Mother slits the throats of her two infant children and kills them, then drinks poison all under the defence of “post natal depression” even though she was pregnant and carrying a child at the time, she walked FREE from Court. Not only Free but with a verdict of NOT GUILTY!
Now how can this be? Had that been a man, one with mental problems which is effectively what Post natal depression is, do you think for one second he would have walked free with a not guilty verdict after slitting the throats of two small children then trying to kill himself? Of course not.
It is seriously disturbing these differences between sentences and defence allowed by men and women in the exact same sort of crimes.
I call it exercising proper equality and that is all my argument is about, if a woman can do it and use such defences and walk free, so should a man be able too. If not, then equality does not exist and the law is wrong.
Like for Like
Crime for crime
Sentence for sentence
And press for press!
Why is it not this way if the Law is supposed to be just , fair and balanced
doogieduggie
says...
5:04pm Fri 31 Jul 09
Ghengis, Freeopinion and James thank you for bringing some more reasonable talk to the thread unlike those two other buffoons. I will be the first to admit I often seem gruff in my demeanour and quite often a bit crap as a word-smith but this should not detract from the issues in hand and the serious points I make.
I agree closing it down is the wrong thing unless there is another in the general region able to cope with the load. However there MUST be a proportionate amount of refuges for men which there is not so if closing it down weighs the balance up then that is the way it has to be done unfortunately, it is called equality in my book.
There also needs to be a proportionate amount of male oriented services including and very importantly things like Social housing in which single men are severely discriminated against and in which only an idiot would not admit many young women abuse by getting pregnant however they can so they can get one.
Also it is high time the press, the local politicians and the law etc started exercising PROPER equality in these matters and stop using them for their own ends.
Search the Echo website for "domestic violence" then count how many articles are about nothing but women and domestic violence and how many about men...it shows that Women issues sell more papers because it is subject to hype, hyperbole and misleading facts that make more high impact headlines and sell papers. It is not the Echo alone of course they all do it.
It is fundamentally a rather sick abuse of a serious subject for commercial gain.
Duckorange
says...
6:02pm Fri 31 Jul 09
You've got a lot to say, and nobody to say it to.
doogieduggie
says...
6:06pm Fri 31 Jul 09
Techie
says...
8:17pm Fri 31 Jul 09
freeopinion wrote:I'm going to have to call 'troll' on you - either that or you're beaming in from 1897.
Can i please make what i think is a sensible comment, from a male point of view i think it is very sad that the refuge is closing it might not be very PC and maybe a bit sexist/macho but to my way of thinking a man should be able to control a situation either by restraining a woman (holding the wrists) or leaving until such times as things have calmed down or by returning with the police. A woman is physically weaker than a man and very often has children to think about so she is at greater risk so should get more protection, a man is quite capable of looking after himself or should be.
I am sorry if this offends anybody but i come from a generation that still considers woman to be the fairer weaker sex and should be treated accordingly.
dopey
says...
8:32pm Fri 31 Jul 09
I've learned, over the years, to say YES to all of their requests.
Never done me any harm, in fact, I enjoy the attention !
However, if a shelter becomes available for men who are beaten, put me down for a holiday..
doogieduggie
says...
8:33pm Fri 31 Jul 09
People like you can only call others names and try to twist things or attempt to manipulate attention away from proper frank and open debate when confronted with facts that do not fit your ideals, the classic liberal way of doing business.
Get used to it poodle boy. This man ain't for turning.
doogieduggie
says...
8:36pm Fri 31 Jul 09
8:32pm Fri 31 Jul 09
My lady friends are always giving me a good beating...
You not Max mosley by any chance are you? :-)
dopey
says...
9:15pm Fri 31 Jul 09
doogieduggie wrote:No .. no .. no ...
dopey, says... 8:32pm Fri 31 Jul 09 My lady friends are always giving me a good beating... You not Max mosley by any chance are you? :-)
I used to be Lord Lucan, but I'm all righ now !!!
this thread has lost the plot !!!
doogieduggie
says...
9:34pm Fri 31 Jul 09
No it hasn't Dopey, it has broken down due to nobody daring to offer a proper and full open debate of all the facts and the majority preferring to return to their comfort zones rather than say what they really want to without fear of reprisal, ridicule or feeling left out and ostricised.
It was a brave man that declared the World round! Scoff you may as you ingest your life's own by-products.
Good Luck with being Lucan.
Lord-Lucan
says...
10:19pm Fri 31 Jul 09
knocking blokes like me about, and getting away with it.
I pesonally, don't care.
It may not always be physical.. mental abuse can hurt more than physical,but there is not always a hostel for MEN to escape to, so, I do my own thing, here in ******* .
maisiemump
says...
10:29pm Fri 31 Jul 09
Genghis
says...
10:42pm Fri 31 Jul 09
The story about the Crossways man. Your assertion that a battered woman must have done something to provoke the man is total bull manure. Take it from me some people need no provocation whatsoever to do these deeds unless you count being in the same room as them and breathing is adequate provocation. I won't go into the details of how I know that for a fact as the memories are still painful but I won't let you get away with that garbage.
As for equal sentencing I will agree that in many cases there do appear to be discrepancies between punishments handed out to men and women. Unfortunately that's always been the case throughout history but not in the way you would expect. In the past women were often subjected to harsher sentences for the reason voiced by freeopinion. Women were seen as the fairer and weaker sex so any that stepped out of that stereotype were obviously monsters and were punished accordingly. It does appear in some cases that the pendulum has swung in favour of women but don't lay the blame for that at the door of women. We have a vast quantity of solicitors who are or have been MPs. Isn't it odd that none of them have been able formulate criminal laws that will treat everybody equally?
doogieduggie
says...
10:57pm Fri 31 Jul 09
Unless you’re a rather twisted individual who seeks the attention that is bestowed to those who are believed to be suffering from some form of abuse or another, I ask you this. Do you feel that you should accept your lot and refuse to grasp the basic concept that Men are people too and deserve happiness and recognition of their emotions and feelings? How I would love to talk to you so openly but fear that you are another idiot like Techie or Duck?
Should a Man have to accept such abuse? My question to you should you be a legitimate person is this, what has made you feel so low of worth as a Man that you do not care about who or what abuses you and dismiss you out of hand so easily?
You should care, this matter is not about women and this matter is not about men. This matter is about our treatment of each other and finding a solution to these problems without the interference of those who wish to capitalise upon it and abuse it for their advantage.
Throw away your newspapers, your East enders, your bank accounts and your car and cast aside all that you think you know and what others told you, you have been given two feet to place upon the Earth, roam it, walk it and discover there is a window in your box and outside that window is anything you can imagine, anything you want to be there...it exists you just have to want it.
I could tell you things so profound that you will seriously start you to ask why we have all been so deceived so much. However I am not prepared to go to the next level with you as this is the Internet, this is the slimy Echo and in this modern world we cannot trust each other honestly.
What a shame. However if you are sincere, you can find me, well at least until I set sail again. Bon voyage’!
need2speak
says...
11:00pm Fri 31 Jul 09
nand middleclass wives sleeping on the floor in their fur coats,they all slept together,women from all walks of life.Ask most women what they need...they will all say to be safe and their children to be safe,not lots of money spending on facilities that councils think they need.I have never written to a paper before but i think this is about money not men,they are using this as an excuse to close this safe place.Some women faught very hard and some lost their lives to have these places and i know i can't write thi as pc as some can or find the subject humerous but i feel very strongly that as many places stay open as possible
doogieduggie
says...
11:14pm Fri 31 Jul 09
The crossways man? Well obviously none of us truly know what happened all I can say Genghis is that I met him and spent a lot of time with him while awaiting trial and through my own experience of him found him to be a very nice, modest and completely non violent person who seemed in a state of confusion and loss as to what took place.
Sorry if that offends people but I say it as I see it. I was only trying to open peoples minds that the possibility exists that there was circumstances unreported that may have caused it, the same kind of causes that allow women to walk free from court every day.
I am not saying it was justified or any such thing I am saying however, to view it proportionality in-line with the way people view women who do the same thing. How do you know she was not a real nasty woman who for years provoked and mentally drove this man to do this? I am not saying that was the case...but maybe it was? Be careful before you make judgment's life is never so simple.
How can anybody justify a woman doing the exact same thing and walking free but a man gets life?
It is merely an opinion based on something most here do not have, first hand experience of the subject on a personal level.
I am sorry for his wife and what she had done to her but after spending time with Jo I would simply ask, WHY? Nothing is ever as it seems and no story is without two sides. I wonder if in this judgement things have not been overlooked that might provide not only answers but solutions to this issue?
Please have balance, do your research and experience this through real life and NOT the media before you say anything about it.
There is nothing paranoid or conspiracy abotu what I say, the problem is what I say seriously questions the status Quo and most people cannot handle having what they think they know and is truth questioned so brutally and openly.
BALANCE is what this is all about, equality and reason. it will never be solved unless everyone can say their pice , have it debated and discussed without petty intervention, manipulation or interference by those who have something to lose by the truth of it all coming out.
doogieduggie
says...
11:35pm Fri 31 Jul 09
Real people know nothing is as simple as it is portrayed and every case has its own merits but we MUST find a common platform on which to debate such an issue free from those who wish to manipulate the issue and capitalise on it;s misery.
This entire matter is bad for everybody, the whole D.V matter effects everybody and nobody and no opinions should ever be excluded from any debate even if they conflict with mine.
That is the difference between a free and open society and one that is being slowly squeezed by those who wish to control society and the way it thinks.
need2speak
says...
11:37pm Fri 31 Jul 09
doogieduggie
says...
11:49pm Fri 31 Jul 09
some of what you say is right and I agree it is a lot to do with money, however as I said before the true numbers of men suffering DV is not known because the stigma attached to it is profound.
Also this is not just about refuges but all the other associated services that men are denied and women have in abundance and oft abuse.
Once again I call to others that this matter is not about the ages old war of men Vs women but one of EQUALITY and reason, seeing to it that all people have equal access and privilege to press, state and legal affairs, respect and civic cooperation no matter what sex they are.
I personally believe in true equality for all, however this is not what happens and only a fool can say it does.
Women or man we all deserve happiness, we all deserve respect and we all deserve the right to speak openly about these things and to hold to account those who manipulate the suffering of both sexes by those who gain from it's continuing state of adversary.
Do not wait for the lawyers,the politicians, the charities and corporates to find a solution as it is in there interest to keep it going or they will be out of business.
maisiemump
says...
12:15am Sat 1 Aug 09
doogieduggie
says...
12:28am Sat 1 Aug 09
12:15am Sat 1 Aug 09
At the end of the day,whether we are male or female, life is precious and we all deserve to live it in a safe, happy way. Lets not forget the innocent children in this discussion, they do not ask to be subjected to violence , be it from mum or dad. Its them that need to be protected first and foremost!
--------------------
I agree with you Maisimump completely but please do not get me started on the children thing, that's a whole other ball game of manipulation and tragedy that outweighs the current discussion.
macsimus
says...
12:48am Sat 1 Aug 09
one sided posts plus complete inability to see another's point of view and then talk about open debate then I'm not sure if you are qualified to call other people stupid.
We are all sorry about what happened to you and I bet she seemed like such a nice girl.
Also when posting again remember that most people like Quality above Quantity.
I rest my battered case.
doogieduggie
says...
1:11am Sat 1 Aug 09
where did I call anybody stupid? Please do not do a Techie and quote words that do not exist.
I am calm, what I am not is compliant.
doogieduggie
says...
1:11am Sat 1 Aug 09
where did I call anybody stupid? Please do not do a Techie and quote words that do not exist.
I am calm, what I am not is compliant.
doogieduggie
says...
1:18am Sat 1 Aug 09
Now you show me how many here have attempted to debate with me armed with nothing but hard facts?
Please do not try to skew the matter.
macsimus
says...
1:47am Sat 1 Aug 09
I have no problem with debate but I think you do.
doogieduggie
says...
1:54am Sat 1 Aug 09
Is it that difficult for you to grasp?
macsimus
says...
3:51am Sat 1 Aug 09
Genghis
says...
7:04am Sat 1 Aug 09
doogieduggie wrote:No doogieduggie it is you who haven't read what you have written. I quote: "However there MUST be a proportionate amount of refuges for men which there is not so if closing it down weighs the balance up then that is the way it has to be done unfortunately, it is called equality in my book." So you obviously feel shutting a desperatly needed Women's Refuge is right.
Ghengis you clearly have not read what I said before. I am disappointed . Did I not say that I do not agree with closing this refuge in prinicapal? I totally agree with you, equal facilities for both men and women and no doubt money will be the deciding factor. I thought i had made that clear previously. The crossways man? Well obviously none of us truly know what happened all I can say Genghis is that I met him and spent a lot of time with him while awaiting trial and through my own experience of him found him to be a very nice, modest and completely non violent person who seemed in a state of confusion and loss as to what took place. Sorry if that offends people but I say it as I see it. I was only trying to open peoples minds that the possibility exists that there was circumstances unreported that may have caused it, the same kind of causes that allow women to walk free from court every day. I am not saying it was justified or any such thing I am saying however, to view it proportionality in-line with the way people view women who do the same thing. How do you know she was not a real nasty woman who for years provoked and mentally drove this man to do this? I am not saying that was the case...but maybe it was? Be careful before you make judgment's life is never so simple. How can anybody justify a woman doing the exact same thing and walking free but a man gets life? It is merely an opinion based on something most here do not have, first hand experience of the subject on a personal level. I am sorry for his wife and what she had done to her but after spending time with Jo I would simply ask, WHY? Nothing is ever as it seems and no story is without two sides. I wonder if in this judgement things have not been overlooked that might provide not only answers but solutions to this issue? Please have balance, do your research and experience this through real life and NOT the media before you say anything about it. There is nothing paranoid or conspiracy abotu what I say, the problem is what I say seriously questions the status Quo and most people cannot handle having what they think they know and is truth questioned so brutally and openly. BALANCE is what this is all about, equality and reason. it will never be solved unless everyone can say their pice , have it debated and discussed without petty intervention, manipulation or interference by those who have something to lose by the truth of it all coming out.
"Please have balance, do your research and experience this through real life and NOT the media before you say anything about it." As I have said I do have REAL experience of this sort of thing. So real that I still suffer from the effects today. So I say to you again some men (and women) need absolutely no provocation whatsoever. In public they are the nicest people you would ever like to meet but in private, welcome to hell. That's what my family went through because of one person and no refuges were available in those days for my Mum.
So it's about time you ditched all your pseudo-PC statements that this is about equality for men and all your other red herrings. This is about the irresponsible closing of a Refuge that is still desperately needed.
doogieduggie
says...
11:25am Sat 1 Aug 09
spoken like a true poncey liberalist, still no debate to make just more stupid comments.
Ghengis, did i not say that it would be better NOT to close it? I am sure I did there somwhere. If however there is already enough refuges that can cope with the load in the area then what is wrong with closing it to finance a male one?
freeopinion
says...
12:39pm Sat 1 Aug 09
need2speak
says...
1:08pm Sat 1 Aug 09
doogieduggie
says...
5:15pm Sat 1 Aug 09
Why Wome already have it swung there way a lot more than men in family lawe, social housing and a whole host of other services. It was women who was screaming for equality, well here it is.
Now they don't want it because it is not in their favour?
portlandrock
says...
7:58pm Sat 1 Aug 09
Sorry, but this decision needs to questioned as do the people who made it. Come on people, are you happy to have another of your services in weymouth stripped out?
freeopinion
says...
8:29am Sun 2 Aug 09
Party gal
says...
11:43am Sun 2 Aug 09
Perhaps like the supported housing for young people issue, the Refuge should seek advice with regards to seeking a Judicial Review!!!!
Genghis
says...
11:56am Sun 2 Aug 09
Party gal - I couldn't agree more.
doogieduggie
says...
11:57am Sun 2 Aug 09
8:29am Sun 2 Aug 09
This maybe thinking out of the box a bit but i really don’t see why men should need a refuge? Are men not capable of taking care of themselves? "
Oh yeah sure, man grabs hold of woman or slaps her one when she is trying to hit him or stab him or something and HE will be the one arrested you can guarantee!
Seen it happen too many times before, it is one of those weapons women (like so many who abuse the refuges) use against men.
If a woman was trying to harm me in a serious fashion I would knock her out, simple. However even if it was self defence the MAN will still be the guilty one, like I said before there is no equality in law. Guess that is why many men go to extreme in retaliation as they know they are going to get screwed anyway.
People really need to read things like angryharry.com and at least get a small insight at what really goes on and how biased it all really is.
freeopinion
says...
12:28pm Sun 2 Aug 09
doogieduggie
says...
7:06pm Sun 2 Aug 09
Someone asked why a man cannot take care of himself against a woman, in my case I would do just what I said, if she tried to attack me, it is my bloody right to self defence, however with all the B.S in Law and liberal whine-bags I could no doubt be arrested for it and no doubt would even if it was all her doing and I was defending myself, does that sound equal, NO!
NBothing unfair if a Woman is coming at you with a broken bottle or a knife to give her a good wallop and put her on the floor..it is common bloody sense. so please stop with the VICTIM rubbish!
As for walking out the door there is NO excuse for Women not to walk out the door either, many do all the time FYI. No doubt some here have got a plethora of excuses for her not too, even if she has kids she can walk and why can't she go to a B&B?
Why not or do you think it should be only men who should have to leave their own home in a D.V situation? Yet again true equality is hard to swallow isn't it?
matthewsad
says...
8:56pm Sun 2 Aug 09
Genghis
says...
10:07pm Sun 2 Aug 09
doogieduggie wrote:"Seen it happen too many times before..." Really? How many times have you personally witnessed events of these kind? Or are you just quoting angryharry as fact again or stories from newspapers? As we all know we mustn't believe anything in newspapers, the media or anything else other than angryharry.
" freeopinion, Portland says... 8:29am Sun 2 Aug 09 This maybe thinking out of the box a bit but i really don’t see why men should need a refuge? Are men not capable of taking care of themselves? " Oh yeah sure, man grabs hold of woman or slaps her one when she is trying to hit him or stab him or something and HE will be the one arrested you can guarantee! Seen it happen too many times before, it is one of those weapons women (like so many who abuse the refuges) use against men. If a woman was trying to harm me in a serious fashion I would knock her out, simple. However even if it was self defence the MAN will still be the guilty one, like I said before there is no equality in law. Guess that is why many men go to extreme in retaliation as they know they are going to get screwed anyway. People really need to read things like angryharry.com and at least get a small insight at what really goes on and how biased it all really is.
freeopinion
says...
8:26am Mon 3 Aug 09
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NOWHERE TO HIDE: The women's refuge in Weymouth is set to close
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doogieduggie says...
9:32am Fri 31 Jul 09
The men only have a few I know of in the Whole UK the last time I looked.
So now people want to spend the money equally for men and women they are up in arms? Take a good look at WHO is up in arms exactly:-)...I rest my case.
go see:
Angryharry.com