Helium-voiced comedian Joe Pasquale says if he could live anywhere, it would be right here in Dorset. He tells Joanna Davis all about his new tour and just why he's so passionate about the county.

ENTERING the world of Joe Pasquale is like ushering yourself into a weird and wacky parallel universe where the only bad thing that happens is that people get pelted with marshmallows.

His tour, One Man and His Bog, is headed for Weymouth Pavilion, Swanage and Bournemouth Pavilion next month.

Joe tells me the audience should prepare for some surreal humour, including his very own toilet - featuring an engine made from a mobility scooter - on the stage!

"The tour is called 'One Man and his Bog' and it's about me and my toilet!" he says.

"It's amazing how fast it goes - it's 17 mph. I'm going to share with the audience some of the history of toilets, it's a huge thing really when you think about it - 2,000 years ago the Romans sorted out their own drainage systems.

"But in 1850, people would throw their waste out of the window and shout 'watch out below', in French that would be 'gardyloo', which was shouted by servants as they emptied chamber pots out of upstairs windows into the street.

"And that was where the word came from, it's fascinating stuff."

The story goes that Joe and his twin brother Raynard opened a chip shop with the Dalai Lama in Skegness, called Batter Me, I'm Yours!

And of course, keeping Joe company on the tour will be Raynard, who will also be making an appearance on the stage.

Joe said: "We're really talking about two hours of stupidity with Raynard coming on the stage, we have a great relationship.

"Sometimes we don't talk for two weeks!"

The audience can also expect to be dazzled by a spot of mind-reading - he tells me there is likely to be a mind-reading bunion and a psychic beaver 'which will open your third eye', he says.

The helium-voiced comic is a big fan of the Jurassic coast and says he can't wait to return and bring his tour here.

He said: "One place I've never played before is Swanage. I've never been there so I'm really looking forward to seeing what it's like.

"I would live down there if I could. I'm fascinated by what happens with the cliffs, I keep reading about them coming away and there's loads of stuff coming out now."

The reason for Joe's fascination with coastal erosion is his passion for earth science and - in particular - fossils.

Lyme Regis will be the perfect place for Joe to go fossil-hunting and he's hoping to fit in a quick fossicking session while he's on tour here.

He is also keen to have a chat about 'Randy' the dolphin - the ubiquitous Weymouth mascot of 2002 that took a liking to scantily clad bathers on regular visits to Weymouth bay.

"I'm very hopeful he'll be back this summer," Joe says. "But even if he's not, I've still got a bit of material on him."

Beneath the marshmallow-flinging, song-that-will-get-on-your-nerves-singing silliness, lies a much more serious side.

Joe is passionate about making television - in particular documentaries that lay bare the side of the world we don't normally see.

"I would love to do more TV, I'm doing a series for ITV that I can't say too much about at the moment, but I would love to do more documentaries," he says.

"I did some stuff for the Discovery Channel, I went to spend a week in prison in Costa Rica and went through the whole prisoner experience.

"I did one called Alone in the World which involved three days SAS training. They stuck me in the middle of the jungle in Guyana.

"I was given survival lessons and I was out there for a week."

He then continues to enthuse about having his pilot's licence and his passion for UFOs and how he'd like to make a television show on all things alien.

"With doing documentaries I try and bring a bit of humour to it," Joe says.

Another string Joe is adding to his bow is writing a book of short horror stories.

He said: "It's working out quite well with doing my writing because I'm normally sat in the tour vehicle writing and Raynard is driving.

"I'm into anything that's quite dark, such as Stephen King. The late author James Herbert was a friend of mine, he has been an inspiration."

But stand-up still remains Joe's first love, he tells me.

"I still get the adrenaline rush I did 30 years ago when I go on the stage. I never really know how it's going to go because every show is different.

"I'm big on the audience participation and people are generally up for taking part.

"The audience participation is a big thing for me because otherwise it's just me there for two hours. I always want the evening to be a laugh and the first person who has to enjoy it is me."

After the tour ends on September 10 Joe says he is going to take five or six weeks off.

But before he knows it, it will be panto time and Joe has his role lined up - and specially written for him.

He said: "This year I'm going to be in Dartford and it's going to be Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

"It's going to be a wonderful family show and I'm going to be the jester in it.

"There wasn't a jester in the Disney version but this one has been specially written and I'm really looking forward to it."

*Joe Pasquale - One Man and His Bog is at the Mowlem Theatre, Swanage, on August 4, Weymouth Pavilion on August 5 and Bournemouth Pavilion on August 8.

See joepasquale.com for booking details and more information.