On Wednesday I visited Dorchester market. Crossing one of the car park lanes I was nearly knocked down by a car going the wrong way across a NO ENTRY sign. I pointed down and suggested by sign language that the driver should obey the rules and when that failed, I impolitely told her to open her eyes. She told me the traffic signs ‘didn’t apply on Wednesdays’! Presumably she is yet another victim of Confusitis which like Celebritis is reaching epidemic status.

I am informed by a notable scientific body that Confusitis affects people’s view of the world and results in faulty decision-making. It has caused the Tory local government to outlaw altruism. New parking meters have been installed to prevent people passing their car-park tickets with unused and paid-for time left on them to other drivers coming in. These meters require your car registration. However, the buttons are too tiny to read, many people cannot remember their car numbers and the machines are laboriously slow so lengthy queues formed immediately.

Two machines are now employed instead of one but with summer approaching, queues are even longer and council employees are telling drivers to only insert one letter of their car number to speed things up. (Shutting the stable door....?) Ratepayers have been put to huge expense and inconvenience but it’s clear that Confusitis is now clearly rampant. I believe it incubated and mutated in the Titanic building during its construction before jumping species to County Hall where it has obviously obtained a stranglehold.

Will DCC blame themselves for this fiasco or incompetent management consultants? A trip to Southampton would have been more sensible to get advice on the subject. There you can approach a meter, press a button for either 1,2,3,4,5 or 6 hours parking, wave your credit card in front of it or insert cash and take your ticket. If this is the sort of decision-making we can expect in public institutions, no wonder the country is in such a mess.

Mike Joslin

Dorchester