DO your symptoms feature a slice of ancient Greek mythology? Check. Involving a legendary creature a bit like a scary lion which was slain by the gallant Heracles? Check.

Are there fire-breathing dragons involved? Check. And rockets and spaceships from a different galaxy and time dimensions too? Check.

And a cast of exotic beauties entwined with handsome heroes in romantic and mysterious trysts?

Check, check and check again.

And if your ears are constantly ringing with howling and/or growling vocals, twiddling guitars, pounding drums and bass notes that can void the most compacted of bowels, you may well be suffering from what we doctors call ‘prog rock’.

Sadly, there is no known cure and it may be terminal with the unfortunate compulsion to wear a cape and carry a personal supply of dry ice when out in public However, some of the more horrific symptoms can assuaged by heading to Finns in Weymouth next Saturday, January 20 for the launch of Fissure of Riddles’ debut album Nemea.

As the riff-conjuring metal monsters’ frontman man Matt Wyslocky tells me: “We’ve been working on the album since May last year at studios in Weymouth and Bristol.

“It’s a very prog metal but we’re trying out new things too.

“Although the band is a democracy, I’ve managed to sneak in a cheeky bongo break,” he adds.

Matt and FoR muckers Mark Taylor on guitar, Lee Biles on drums and Dan Challinor on bass have been ploughing the prog furrow since 2012 with exceptional musicianship of considerable nift.

And they’ll be supported at Finns next Saturday by techno death metalists Embodiment from Bristol, fellow progsters Vrona from Brighton, Gloucester’s hardcore nutjobs We Come From Ashes, plus psychedelic rockers Terran Spacers.

Entry from 7pm is no pounds whatsoever, free, zilch, because they’re nice like that.

After the Finns launch, the self-syled Progressive Sludgelords of the Jurassic Coast are heading out on the road, taking their message of prog to the good folk of Bournemouth, Plymouth and Reading.

Lock up your dragons… Moving on, and singer/songwriter River Child will definitely, actually, really, really, be at Revolution in Trinity Road this Sunday, January 14 from 3pm for the charming vinyl/coffee boutique’s first Sunday Salon of the year.

He was supposed to be down last year but due to diary/transport interface malfunction had to cancel, so it’ll be worth catching this talented singer and guitarist who specialises in indie/folkie tunes with a distinctive voice and presence. And there’s cake, too...

And talking of distinctive voices, it’s mahoosive congratulations and high fives all round for Lauren Bannon-Hayes who utterly smashed it big time on ITV’s The Voice last Saturday.

The Weymouth singer-songwriter, who has gigging around these parts for quite a while, turned in an epic performance of Major Lazer’s Lean On that had all four judges, Olly Murs, Sir Tom Jones, Jennifer Hudson and will.i.am (yes.i.know….) spinning round in their chairs.

Lauren elected to go with Olly, so good luck to her and I’m sure we’ll be seeing a huge star in the making. Well-deserved too.

The only time four people turned round to look at me was when I farted on the bus that day.

Till next week…

GIG GUIDE

TONIGHT (12)

CTL.ALT.DEL (Finns, Weymouth)

Emma C (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

The Katz (Lugger, Chickerell, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Darren H (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

The Shakespearos (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Jon Storey Trio (Kings Arms, Weymouth)

Jolly Boys Outing (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

Mutter Slater Band (Ropemakers, Bridport)

Johnny Mac (Duke of Albany, Weymouth)

Four Go Mad (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

SATURDAY (13)

Tripod (Finns, Weymouth)

The Shakespearos (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

The Katz (Wyke Regis Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

In The Mix (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

Karl Lattimer (Conservative Club, Weymouth)

Johnny King (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

The Remedy (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Zoe Schwarz and Rob Koral (No 10, Bridport) noon-2pm.

Speedway Snails (Park, Weymouth)

Groove Rush (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

The Jimmy Hillbillies (Drax Arms, Bere Regis)

Quinn’s Quinney (Ropemakers, Bridport)

BJ McCabe (Bridge Inn, Preston, Weymouth)

Strings and Reeds (Duke of Albany, Weymouth)

SUNDAY (14)

Finnian McGurk (Boot, Weymouth) 5pm.

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) 3pm, followed by…

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Sailor’s Return, St Nicholas St, Weymouth) From 3pm.

River Child (Revolution, Trinity Rd, Weymouth) 3pm.

Big Al Whittle (George, Portland) 4pm.

The Poor Clares (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Farrago (King’s Arms, Weymouth) 3pm.

Elfentale (Ropemakers, Bridport) 4pm.

Scots Dan’s Open Mic (Duke of Albany, Weymouth) 4pm.

MONDAY (15)

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Acoustic session (Belvedere, Weymouth)

TUESDAY (16)

Gut and Steel (Boot, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh HoS, Weymouth)

Folk Night (Kings Arms, Weymouth)

Open Mic Night (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

WEDNESDAY (17)

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Wessex Folk Night (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

Open Mic Night (Royal Exchange, Portland)

THURSDAY (18)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Traditional Tune Session (Cove House Inn, ChiswelI, Portland)

Ukulele Sessions (Sailors Return, Weymouth) 8pm.

FRIDAY (19)

Surfing Birds, The Hawksmen, Amy Brown (Corn Exchange, Dorchester)

Paprika (Powerstock Hut)

Mad Hatters (Finns, Weymouth)

Dakota (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

Nick Sellars (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

TBC (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

The Shakespearos (King’s Arms, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Andy Grant Trio (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Jolly Boys Outing (Park, Weymouth)