BACK in 1977 when Elvis Presley was Returned to Sender, there were fewer than 200 impersonators of The King in the world.

Fast forward some 40 or so years and there are currently tens of thousands scattered across the globe, from Memphis to Mumbai, and if the current rate of reproduction is maintained, by the end of this century there will be more Elvi (I’m assuming that’s the plural…) than the entire population of China, where they do love a blast of Jailhouse Wok.

If that doesn’t leave you All Shook Up, you must have a Wooden Heart.

A Little Less Conversation then, and imagine just how good, just how authentic, how impossibly fantastic you have to be as Elvis to beat every other hopeful, not just in the UK, but in Europe, America and internationally.

That’s something Ben Portsmouth can claim, having won his first Elvis title at a contest held in Wales back in 2006.

He was the total opposite of all the other acts: He was young, he was hip, he looked and sounded amazing and wore the proper gear flown in especially from the States.

Further glory followed when Ben became the first European to claim the crown at the worldwide Elvis convention in Memphis in 2010. Numerous other titles followed as Ben was hailed the ultimate Elvis.

The Youtube clip of him wowing David Letterman on US TV has been seen gazillions of times and you can see, and hear, what all the hoo-haa is about when Ben brings his unique style and charisma, plus his crack ten-piece Taking Care of Elvis band, to Weymouth Pavilion next Thursday, September 13. The spirit of Elvis will DEFINITELY be in the building.

Tickets are £27.50 from the box office on 01305 783225 but don’t be surprised when you call if you’re asked to press One for the money, Two for the show etc. Thangyewverrymutch…

Now then, an evening spent in the company of Jess Upton, Steve Wilson and Robbie McIntosh is a thing of joy and such an opportunity occurs next Friday, September 14, when the three amigos reconvene for show in the intimate confines of Upwey village hall on the northern suburbs of Weymouth.

Jess forged her reputation as one of the region’s leading chantueses with her awesome Soul Band back in the Nineties and Noughties and can currently be spotted fronting up disco-cheese revisionists The Guilty Pleasures, where’s she joined by bassist Steve who, while not ferreting through the wardrobe for boob tubes, hot pants and slingbacks, can be seen with his own band Wilson.

Robbie, meanwhile, has the sort of CV most guitarist would sever their right arm for, with campaign medals from The Pretenders, Paul McCartney, Tom Jones and Norah Jones.

Expect exquisite harmonies, jaw-dropping guitar stunts and that warm fuzzy feeling inside. Tickets are £10 from 07974 668060.

And finally, it’s amazing to think it’s now been 20 years since the first Bluesnight event at Dorchester Arts and one of the most frequent guests is making another return visit.

Drummer Sam Kelly is bringing his Station House band down for another evening of funky blues tighter than a gnat’s chuff next Saturday, September 15.

And Sam will be having a rather special local guest: None other than Tom Waters, Ben’s son, on sax. Tickets are £14 from the box office on 01305 266926.

Till next time…

GIG GUIDE

TONIGHT (7)

The Skones (Finns, Weymouth)

The Remedy (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

The Katz (Lugger, Chickerell, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Stompin’ Dave’s Blues (Electric Palace, Bridport)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Fluke (Spice Ship, Weymouth)

Acoustic Session (Victoria Inn, Knights in the Bottom, Chickerell, Weymouth)

Tequila Mockingbird (Kimberlin Club, Portland)

Du Kane (Royal Oak, Weymouth)

Darren H (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

Cuba Libre (Aura, Weymouth)

Dave Griff’s Open Mic (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Sixteen String Jack (Ropemakers, Bridport)

Georgie Broad (Black Dog, Weymouth)

Rob Davis (Star, Portland)

Frankie Finn (Duke of Albany, Weymouth)

Sukelele (Belvedere, Weymouth)

The House Band (The Cider Shed, Bredy Farm, Near Burton Bradstock) 8.30pm.

SATURDAY (8)

Tripod (Finns, Weymouth)

Permanent Vacation (Boat That Rocks, Portland Marina)

Compass (Tom Browns, Dorchester)

The Remedy (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

Glass Spiders (Park, Weymouth)

Chris Woodchuck (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Rich Baxter (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Skint Imperials (Stone Pier Café, Weymouth) From 4.30pm

Greg Agar (Star, Weymouth)

Matt Wallace (Conservative Club, Weymouth)

Total Madness (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth)

The Stereoironics (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Regulation 9 (Market House, Weymouth)

John D Revelator (Ropemakers, Bridport)

Sheryl Lee (Black Dog, Weymouth)

Speedway Snails (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

Zoe Schwarz and Rob Koral (No 10, Bridport) Noon-2pm.

Gut & Steel (Nag’s Head, Lyme Regis)

Darren H (Duke of Albany, Weymouth)

SUNDAY (9)

Replay (Red Lion, Hope Sq, Weymouth) 2pm.

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth) 3pm & 8.30pm.

Ricky Solo (Sailor’s Return, Weymouth) From 3pm.

Martin Freed (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth) 3pm.

Andy Grant (Duke of Cornwall, Weymouth) 7pm.

Folk Night (Convivial Rabbit, Dorchester) From 7pm.

Tori Reed’s Sunday Sessions (Ropemakers, Bridport) 4-7pm.

Loose Connections (Bull’s Head, Fordington, Dorchester) 4pm.

Leanne Jackson (Black Dog, Weymouth) 4-7pm.

Scots Dan’s Open Mic (Duke of Albany, Weymouth)

MONDAY (10)

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Acoustic session (Belvedere, Weymouth)

TUESDAY (11)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Dougie Cooper Jazz Night (Star, Weymouth)

WEDNESDAY (12)

Tim Andrews (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Wessex Folk Night (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

Open Mic Night (Rock, Weymouth)

THURSDAY (13)

Ben Portsmouth is Taking Care of Elvis (Weymouth Pavilion)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Traditional Tune Session (Cove House Inn, Portland)

Ukulele Sessions (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

Roger Mac’s Singalong (Gloucester, Weymouth)

FRIDAY (14)

Jess Upton, Steve Wilson and Robbie McIntosh (Upwey Village Hall)

TBC (Finns, Weymouth)

TBC (Park, Weymouth)

Darren H (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Andy Grant Trio (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Bad Intention (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Kelly Lorraine (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Devil’s Prefects (Ropemakers, Bridport)