ANYONE who thinks that the EU is perfect needs their head examined.

There are problems with immigration, the Common Agricultural Policy, fishing rights and banning bendy bananas (amongst others).

Grr – those faceless EU bureaucrats! – unlike our brave British bureaucrats – they’ve never done anything wrong have they. Anyway, what has the EU ever done for us?

OK, maybe there have been one or two things...

Economic success – yes we were in a bad way in the 70s; overall we are much better off now. Around 50 per cent of our trade, tariff and virtually border free.

Better health – Yes, OK, vast improvements in requirements for air and water quality, harmonisation of research and drug availability, restriction of the promotion of smoking to the young. Clean beaches and rivers.

Higher safety standards for vehicles. Better food labelling and banning of dangerous additives. Cheaper and better holidays. Yes, travel is easy; no visa requirements in Europe; excess phone roaming charges banned.

Workers’ rights, maternity rights, paid holidays for employees, anti-discrimination rights.

Cheap alcohol – OK, yes I’d miss that – remember the duty we use to have to pay if we brought back more than three bottles of wine or one bottle of spirits?

Safety – cross border cooperation to fight organised crime, terrorism, people trafficking, paedophiles, cyber-crime. Investment and cooperation in science research and development.

A First World restraining influence on the international stage. Peace.

OK, ok, the list is longer than I expected. But surely these are our rights now?

Surely those Europeans can see that because we are British we deserve to keep getting our cake?

They can’t expect us to keep paying our way.

I’m keeping all my fingers and toes crossed that we might be able to retain some of the above.

I’ll be alright though – I’ve nearly finished my working life.

Anyway, we’ve asked Donald Trump if he will be our friend and he said yes – and you just can’t underestimate his intelligence, honesty and integrity.

Perhaps, after his disappointment at not being able to buy Greenland he will make a decent offer for the UK?

Mark Gugan