IF YOU turn to the Dorset Echo's In the Dock page to read through the names of those who have appeared before the courts, breathe a sigh of relief – as you're (probably) committing crimes too.
In fact, we've compiled a list of offences that almost everyone will have committed at some point or other – without ever knowing they were crimes.
Some of the 'small' laws run from the mundane – not paying for a carrier bag at a self-service check-out, for example – to the... well, more mundane – such as not having a tv licence.
But others are slightly weirder. And if you've ever been drunk in a pub before, then we're afraid to say you're guilty of at least one.
Here are our favourites...
* Singing 'happy birthday' in a restaurant (as the song is copyrighted)
* Swearing or gesturing at other motorists or road users
* Annoying anyone by flying a kite
* Beeping a horn for any reason other than alerting traffic
* Vacuuming between the hours of 6pm and 8pm on a weekday, or 1pm and 8am on a weekend
* Being drunk in the street, or in a pub and restaurant
* Pocketing change when given the wrong amount
* Disturbing people by ringing their doorbells or knocking on their doors and leaving before being answered
* Using a fake name on the internet
* Sticking a postage stamp upside down
* Using someone else's Wi-Fi without them knowing
* Throwing tree cuttings back over your neighbours' garden
* Singing or chanting a crude football chant in the street
* Parking opposite a junction
* Parking without side lights on in a road where the speed limit is more than 30mph, facing away from traffic or outside of a designated parking space
* Carrying wooden planks across a pavement
* Beating or shaking any carpet, rug or mat in the street after 8am
* Handling fish 'suspiciously'
* Wearing armour while visiting Parliament
* Standing sockless within 100 yards of the Queen
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