IF YOU turn to the Dorset Echo's In the Dock page to read through the names of those who have appeared before the courts, breathe a sigh of relief – as you're (probably) committing crimes too.

In fact, we've compiled a list of offences that almost everyone will have committed at some point or other – without ever knowing they were crimes.

Some of the 'small' laws run from the mundane – not paying for a carrier bag at a self-service check-out, for example – to the... well, more mundane – such as not having a tv licence.

But others are slightly weirder. And if you've ever been drunk in a pub before, then we're afraid to say you're guilty of at least one.

Here are our favourites...

* Singing 'happy birthday' in a restaurant (as the song is copyrighted)

* Swearing or gesturing at other motorists or road users

* Annoying anyone by flying a kite

* Beeping a horn for any reason other than alerting traffic

* Vacuuming between the hours of 6pm and 8pm on a weekday, or 1pm and 8am on a weekend

* Being drunk in the street, or in a pub and restaurant

* Pocketing change when given the wrong amount

* Disturbing people by ringing their doorbells or knocking on their doors and leaving before being answered

* Using a fake name on the internet

* Sticking a postage stamp upside down

* Using someone else's Wi-Fi without them knowing

* Throwing tree cuttings back over your neighbours' garden

* Singing or chanting a crude football chant in the street

* Parking opposite a junction

* Parking without side lights on in a road where the speed limit is more than 30mph, facing away from traffic or outside of a designated parking space

* Carrying wooden planks across a pavement

* Beating or shaking any carpet, rug or mat in the street after 8am

* Handling fish 'suspiciously'

* Wearing armour while visiting Parliament

* Standing sockless within 100 yards of the Queen