Dear Caroline,

I’m 23 and have been with my partner for two years. Recently he told me he wanted us to split up because we argue so much.

This is all my fault because I have terrible anger problems and always snap at him if he says anything I don’t like. I hate myself so much for being this horrid person. When he told me things were over I tried to commit suicide but unfortunately, he found me and made me throw up so I was okay.

I wish he hadn’t found me. I thought there might have been some hope for us because when things are good, they are so very good; yet he told me loud and clear that it was over. I just don’t know how to cope. I wish I could win him back or die.

Anonymous, by email

My heart goes out to you. You must see your GP as soon as possible and tell him or her exactly what you’ve told me. You’ll be offered help for your depression and your anger – both to learn to manage that anger and to stop turning it in on yourself. Of course you’re not a horrid person, and you really need to learn to treat yourself with the love and compassion you deserve. We all need to treat ourselves kindly and lovingly, no matter what.

Therapy will help you to do that. Whether or not you and your boyfriend stay together, you’ll feel so much better with professional help and support. What matters most here is you and your wellbeing. Please make that GP appointment today and when you feel very low do ring the Samaritans om 116 123 or log on to their website www.samaritans.org It always feels darkest before dawn, but it is a fact that a new dawn in on the way for you.

Dear Caroline,

I’ve been on a health kick and lost two stone very sensibly. My boyfriend didn’t notice the first stone but he’s certainly become upset by the second. He keeps making snide remarks about bags of bones and coat hangers! That’s ridiculous, though, as I still have at least another stone to go.

There’s no way he needs to worry about me obsessively losing weight but now he’s started trying to throw a spanner in the works by buying me wine and chocolates ‘just as a treat’. I know he’s trying to sabotage me but when I have it out with him, he says I’m being ludicrous. Where do I go from here?

Beverley, by email

Well done you for adopting a healthier lifestyle. It can be very unsettling when one partner makes big changes because the other is then forced out of their comfort zone.

That can feel quite scary because when they then look at their own lifestyle, they perhaps realise guiltily that they too could well do with making a few changes. Your boyfriend might also be frightened of losing you. Not only have you benefited from you new regime, but he might start wondering what other changes you have in mind. Give him plenty of reassurance that (assuming you do) you still love him but point out firmly that you need to do what’s right for you.

CAROLINE Buchanan is a journalist, author, agony aunt and Relate- trained counsellor who lives in Dorset and West London. Her latest book is The 15-Minute Rule for Forgiveness. Her previous book, The 15-Minute Rule - How to Stop Procrastinating and Take Control of Your Life, is a bestseller. If you would like Caroline’s advice, send your problem to joanna.davis@dorsetecho. co.uk and it will be passed on.