Caroline Buchanan is our Agony Aunt at the Dorset Echo. She’ll be helping readers with their problems on a weekly basis.

Dear Caroline,

I’m getting married at the beginning of Autumn, but just recently I’ve started getting cold feet. I love my fiancé but the hugeness of the commitment suddenly seems very scary. I’ve talked about it with him and he got very upset. When I said he himself might go through a scary patch he said no way, he was absolutely certain of what he was doing. Should I keep quiet now so as not to hurt him? Will these feelings go away? Should I call it off and very likely regret it? Is this normal?

Ms T, by email

It is not at all uncommon to get pre-wedding jitters, because marriage is a very big step. You might feel certain you’re doing the right thing at some times and not at others. I suggest you talk it all over with a couple of your closest friends. They know you and your background and will be in a good position to tell whether you are justified or not in feeling so scared. It’s much better to address your fears rather than shove them down into the background. Feelings are not facts, but when you’re in a dilemma, they really do need to be talked about.

Dear Caroline,

I’m 22 and seem unable to be without a boyfriend. Whenever a relationship finishes, I’m compelled to get a new one in place immediately. My last relationship ended painfully and I was clinically depressed. Now, although I’m still not quite right, I’ve started seeing an old friend and I can see we’re going to become romantic. My friends all say I ought to sort myself out and that I’m doing this on the rebound. I just long for a successful relationship but feel so mixed-up.

Laura, by email

Well at least you’re finding solace with an old friend, Laura, but please don’t think about the idea of romance for now! He’s not going to ‘fix’ you – we can only fix ourselves. You don’t tell me your background but there must be a reason deep down why you feel you can only be happy when you’re in a relationship. It’s always wise to learn to live well on your own before embarking on togetherness. I think you would benefit enormously from counselling. Do visit to find a counsellor right for you.

Dear Caroline,

My best friend’s husband told me the other day that he had fallen in love with me. I was speechless. I’d had no inkling whatsoever. I know that their marriage is going through a rocky patch – but I didn’t think it was so rocky! I spend a lot of time at their place and am, or at least was, very easy and familiar there. Now I don’t see how I can go there when he’s at home. I’ve made it clear to him I’m not interested but this changes the dynamics horribly and I just don’t know how to play it.

Anon, by email

It sounds to me as if your friend’s husband is behaving out of character because of his own distress and is blindly diving down roads he wouldn’t normally consider. Behave as you usually would with your friends, while encouraging them to sort out the problems between them. Suggest they seek professional help, such as with Relate – is their website. If your friend’s husband comes on to you again you will have to tell him that unless he stops immediately, he could risk serious trouble.

CAROLINE Buchanan is a journalist, author, agony aunt and Relate- trained counsellor who lives in Dorset and West London. Her latest book is The 15-Minute Rule for Forgiveness. Her previous book, The 15-Minute Rule - How to Stop Procrastinating and Take Control of Your Life, is a bestseller.

Her TEDx talk on the subject has just been picked for TEDx Shorts – meaning she is classified as one of the greatest TEDx world speakers! If you would like Caroline’s advice, send your problem to joanna.davis@dorsetecho. and it will be passed on.