COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

I’M HAVING SEX DREAMS ABOUT A COLLEAGUE

I work with a man who is happily married and expecting his first child in a couple of months. I have known him for about six years, and we are very good friends.

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I am happily married myself but am worried by sexual dreams I’ve recently been having, in which I fantasise about making love to him. I have no wish to spoil either of our lives by ever allowing these dreams to become reality and wish they would stop. Do I need to distance myself from his friendship?

FIONA SAYS: DREAMS ARE JUST DREAMS

You’ve made it clear that you have no intention of acting upon these fantasies, so what would you gain by stepping away from your friend? Don't act rashly here. I see no reason why you shouldn’t go on trusting yourself to act sensibly and treat these dreams for what they are

NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY FATHER

I’m 55 - and nothing I have done has ever been right or good enough for my father, who is 75. Over time, I’ve learned what to do and not do around him to avoid confrontation; he’s not an easy man to get along with.

He never calls or texts me, unless it’s an emergency or he’s sick. Now, out of the blue, he’s sent me a text to say he needs to have surgery for possible cancer.

I can’t sleep for worrying or crying and am desperate for help. Do I call to offer help, or ignore him and move on with my life?

FIONA SAYS: COUNSELLING COULD HELP

You really don’t have a good relationship with your father, and it seems he is the kind of person who takes offence at whatever you do, if it suits him. It seems to me that you are desperate for your father’s love and affection, and that this has never been forthcoming.

As your father is now in his mid-70s, the chances are he’s not going to change his behaviour. But it’s not too late to change yours. I would encourage you to think about getting counselling of some kind (contact BACP - bacp.co.uk) to help you deal with his cruel behaviour and unpack the impact it’s had on you.

In terms of what’s happening with your father’s health now, you suggest you’ve got two options - to call and offer to help your father, or ignore him and move on with your life. I’d suggest a third option: continue to call, text and message him regularly, if you want to, without any expectation of a response.

Email Fiona by writing to help@askfiona.net for advice.