Dear Odds On,

I have an important job in the

public eye as I manage a football team. I have a lovely house and an Italian girlfriend, but recently I had a bit of a fling with some Swedish bird. Unfortunately she has written a book about her life and has dedicated a chapter to our little liaison. What should I do? SGE.

Dear SGE,

You should try to have the best of both worlds. See the Italian bird on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday and the Swedish one on Monday Wednesday and Friday and keep Saturday free for football.

Dear Odds On,

I like fast driving fast cars, and my car is always faster than anybody elses. Everybody says this is boring and people don't want to watch me any more. I've tried to slow down and let other people overtake me, but then I'm accused of cheating. How do I solve this problem? Michael S.

Dear Michael S,

Why not try driving blindfolded or even tie one arm behind your back. This should slow you down a bit and it will also make things more exciting.

Dear Odds On,

On a recent business trip abroad, I was accused of something that I didn't do. I got into a car with a girl I hardly knew and she told the newspapers that we got up to some naughty things. I am used to dealing with stroppy men and thoroughbred horses, but this is something new to me. Have you any advice. Al F.

Dear Al F.

Didn't your mother ever warn you about accepting a lift from a stranger?

Dear Odds On,

I am a sports writer and I seem to use the word ' glove man' in every football report I write. Can you suggest a suitable alternative? C. Scribe.

Dear Mr Scribe,

Why not call him ' the goalkeeper'

The Ayatollah informs me that for this week selections he has 'loosened his fiscal policy'. He didn't know what that meant and nor do I, but it sounds good. Anyway he has been a little more ambitious and has chosen Wigan, Rotherham and QPR.

Angel Cabrera finished third at 33-1 last week and this week I think that Retief Goosen could win the World Matchplay title at Wentworth.

Tiger Woods is a short-priced favourite for The Disney Classic in Florida, but David Toms or David Duval could be better priced alternatives.

Big Bad Bob romped to victory at Ascot on Saturday (his trainer obviously gave him the go faster pills) and Nayef could repeat his victory of last year in the Champion Stakes at Newmarket.

Riyadh is my choice for the Cesarewitch, while Trade Fair should win the Dewhurst Stakes.