The pub was full of birdwatchers on Saturday night.

Now there's an interesting pastime, I thought. Men dashing around the country looking for a bird that has probably flown away by the time they get to wherever it was supposed to be.

If they are lucky enough to see the small object of their desire, they put a tick next to its name and then dash off somewhere else to find another one.

What fun!

"Twitchers," I believe they are called, although where the "chers" bit came from I'm not sure.

I, however, spent Sunday watching television as men engaged in far more interesting pastimes.

Speedway, for example. Men riding round in circles on bikes with no brakes. The first one to go round the first bend inevitably wins the race and unless someone happens to fall off, excitement is minimal. Mind you, what motor sport does not involve men driving round in circles for no apparent reason?

Rugby Union. Men running round a field chasing an odd shaped ball, pausing for a bit of legalised thuggery on the way round. Personally, I'd rather watch the grass growing on the field than the ball chasing. The main object of the game seems to be to kick the ball out of play so that everybody can have a rest.

Snooker. Men using a stick to hit a ball into a hole on a table. It's a bit like indoor golf really, as this involves men using a stick to hit a ball into a hole in a field.

The audience has to keep quiet while the game is in progress so that those wishing to catch up on their sleep are not disturbed.

Oddly, enough the game was not particularly popular in the days of black and white television.

Tennis. Men hitting a ball to each other over a net. Women get involved too. The game would be far more interesting if they just played the tiebreaks and forgot about the rest of it.

Boxing. Men trying to hit each other. This activity takes place at most clubs on a Friday or Saturday night, rather than in a ring with people baying for blood. The men try to hit each other for three minutes, before stopping for a rest. They then try again for another three minutes until one of them falls over.

Perhaps bird watching isn't a bad idea after all.

As this is the last full week of the football season I have taken it upon myself to select the final week's football losers. Blackpool, Brentford and Bristol City will get me the chop, I'm sure.

The New Orleans Golf Classic could go the way of Chris DiMarco or Scott McCarron, while Peter O'Malley has an outside chance in the Italian Open.

Ad Hoc (71) was successful last weekend and this week sees the first two Classic races of the season at Newmarket. I think that Lateen Sails can win the 2000 Guineas on Saturday, while Six Perfections could win the 1000 on Sunday.

Fire up the Band could also be a winner on the Newmarket card, while Membership has a chance at Haydock.