WHEN – and not if – ’Arry Hotspur becomes the 16th England football manager he will not have a lot to emulate.

Take out England’s greatest-ever manager Sir Alf Ramsey (1966 and all that) and Terry Venables who came so close to glory in Euro 96 and what are we left with – a bunch of losers.

Sir Alf only took the job in 1963 if he alone held authority over all team selection.

Prior to that Walter Winterbottom had to pay lip service to the whims and fancies of the FA International Commitee who spread caps around like confetti including, for example, a Luton centre-half aptly named M Barrass. You couldn’t make it up.

From the Wally in The Brolly (Steve McClaren) to Turnip Taylor to Stack Shoes Sven it is a roll call of FA incompetence.

Briefly on Capello – if you were paid £6 million a year surely you would have the decency to learn the English language. This mercenary has shown only contempt for our country.

Remember Glenn Hoddle – and his mystic side-kick Eileen Drewery? It made us a laughing-stock.

Ray Parlour politely declined her offer of consultation and Hoddle never picked him for England again. True.

“Glenda” was a footballing genius – and he knew it. He frequently liked to upstage his own players in training so they nicknamed him “Chocolate” – because if he was made of chocolate he would lick himself to death.

Remember Don Revie – or “Don Readies” as he was dubbed in Fleet Street because “a man in my position likes to be looked after”.

He was the man who introduced carpet bowls and bingo after training. As you do.

Remember Kevin Keegan, an emotional wreck.

I know many of you will question why I dismiss Bobby Robson especially after Italia 90 with its haunting aria Nessun Dorma. But the star of that show and the man who even upstaged Pavarotti was Paul Gascoigne.

Robson didn’t fancy him – honestly – and called him “unreliable and as daft as a brush”.

Only a virtuoso performance from Gazza against the Czechs at Wembley in the last game before departing for Italy in which he scored two brilliant goals meant a national crescendo from the Press and public alike to take him.

Robson relented thank God. But that was Bobby. He used to be indecisive but he was never that sure.

England players called him “Mogodon” because his team talks always put everybody to sleep. And he had eight, empty and frequently embarrassing years at Lancaster Gate before he finally got out of jail.

Farmer’s daughter Toni Margaret Edwards – “don’t forget the Margaret” – is a shop proprietor in St Alban Street, Weymouth and says she “speaks for the nation”. Wow! We like her.

“I love my country but under Capello I just gave up watching them. England fans just want a bit of passion, commitment. Blood, sweat and tears. We want the players playing for their country like they do at their clubs.

“Spurs are the most attractive and entertaining side in the Premier League. And as an Arsenal fan I hate saying that. But we need Harry Redknapp to bring a smile back to the face of English football.”

Couldn’t have put it better myself.