THE following is a transcript of a conversation between two massive, lifelong Gooners – Toni Edwards, shop proprietor of St Alban Street, Weymouth and Anthony McCourt, owner of South West Foods.

TE: That was disgusting on Monday (defeat by Wigan). I bet we struggle now to even get fourth. Chelsea will murder us on Saturday. Then Stoke.

AM: Yeah. We can’t defend. It is a joke.

TE: Then we will lose RVP (Robin van Persie). He won’t want to stay.

AM: But he loves Arsenal.

TE: That’s not enough. So did Fabby (Cesc Fabregas). You know, I hope we don’t qualify for Champions League next season.

AM: What? Why?

TE: What is the point? We have no chance of winning the damn thing. Wenger will not buy quality players. So we scrape through only to make even more money for the Arsenal board.

AM: I see where you’re coming from. In the meantime the fans get fleeced at every home game. Ticket prices, drinks, food, programmes, club shop. They are taking us for granted. It’s over £3m for every game at the Emirates. A disgrace when there is no trophy.

TE: I blame Wenger.

AM: Me, too. He should go. Get Mourinho. But he would want to spend money. Kroenke and his chums would choke at his demands. But we want to compete. At the very highest level. We should never be also-rans.

TE: That’s why I hope RVP quits Arsenal. Barcelona are favourites I’ve read. It will shock Wenger. Another world-class player to quit the club.

AM: Mighty Arsenal. A feeder club. Who next? Jack Wilshere. Oh, God no.

TE: But can you blame him if he is offered a fortune elsewhere? After Wigan it will be panic stations until the end of the season.

AM: Typical Arsenal. If we mess it up now and don’t qualify someone at Arsenal will have to be accountable. Wenger.

TE: Nah. Hill-Wood (Arsenal chairman) said yesterday that they want to extend his contract.

AM: You know RVP is favourite for Footballer of the Year.

TE: So he should be. He has carried Arsenal for most of the season. On his own. He deserves better.

AM: We will be gutted when he goes.

Recording ends. Wow!