“AS MUCH as I admire his work, that Roy Wood can flipping do one,” said an exhausted Santa Claus before collapsing into his fireside chair at his cosy little gaff at the North Pole.

“I certainly DO NOT wish it could be Christmas every day,” he harrumphed as he poured himself a very large one.

It had been a challenging 24 hours for the veteran deliveryman, once again circling the globe and dropping off presents for every girl and boy, while all the time checking his naughty/nice list, twice, just to make sure.

Oh how he wished for the good old days when the little horrors were grateful to get a walnut and a satsuma for Christmas. He loved seeing the children’s faces light up, so a torch was always a good present.

He was okay when it came to a train set or a dolly, but these days they all want the latest all-singing and dancing mobile thingy with Instachat Snapgram Twitface doodahs and they weren’t cheap and a right old faff for his elves to make too.

Why couldn’t they all be like that nice Mariah Carey and not want anything this year, which is just as well, as he hadn’t got her anything.

On his nights off Santa loved nothing more than going down the pub for jolly bants with his little helpers, having a few light sherries and watching a band. And, as he was used to lumping heavy objects around in his day job, he was quite happy to shift the band’s gear as a special guest star roadie.

Obviously he was rushed off his black-booted snow-caked feet this time of year so he would have missed going out tonight, Friday, December 23, in Weymouth, one of his favourite towns for live music. Known as Black Eye Friday, when hordes of amateur drinkers tend to get confused and fall over after finishing work, he could have popped in to the Rendezvous for the all-day bash starting at 2pm featuring Mr Bucket, Lauren Bannon and Mama Feelgood among others.

He had a gig himself on Christmas Eve, Saturday, December 24, with his traditional appearance at The Crack’s Christmas party at the New Vic in Weymouth from 3pm.

As always, the big day itself, Sunday December 25, was a quiet one at home, counting his pairs of socks and Lynx gift sets, feeding his big fat beardy face and winning a game of Monopoly with the elves between the Queen’s speech and Dr Who.

But, like most people, he was out OUT and on it big time on Boxing Day, Monday, December 26, caning it like there was no tomorrow. And with the amount he liked to put away, that was always a risk.

He’d probably take in the Cold Turkey bash at the Lazy Lizard in Weymouth, with The Leggomen, Under the Carousel and Toby De Kretser, or he might pop out to the Spice Ship for Shooter and The Stereoironics.

Then again, he might take Rudolph to The Spa for the Leggomen and Shooter or he might head for the Wyke Smugglers for Tequila Mockingbird.

So much to choose from but, either way, he’d be at the Belvedere for 9pm to pogo his sack off with The Shakespearos.

And there were a couple of rocket-fuelled blues treats during the week to look forward to, with local guitar legend Jon Storey flying back from sunny Spain for gigs at the Three Compasses at Charminster on Tuesday, December 27 and Finns in Weymouth on Wednesday, December 28.

Whatever he decided to do, he knew was sure of a good time with good friends and great music.

n Thanks to all the bands and venues who have sent in their gigs to me this year. I couldn’t do this without your support. There’ll be a full rundown of all the New Year’s Eve gigs in next Friday’s edition, so if you want your event included, send the details to gigs@dorsetecho.co.uk Best wishes for a happy and peaceful Christmas.

GIG GUIDE

PLEASE NOTE: Some of the regular nights may not be happening over the Christmas period, so check with the venue.

TONIGHT (23)

Chas and Dave (Weymouth Pavilion)

Ben and Tom Waters (Royal Manor Theatre, Portland)

Tripod (Finns, Weymouth)

Toby De Kretser and Mr Bucket (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

Phil Denton (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

Total Madness (Park, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Compass (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Freezer (Spice Ship, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

Dave Griff (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Cuba Libre (Boat That Rocks, Portland Marina)

The Rat Pack (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)

Leggomen (Ayya, Weymouth) From 7pm.

Leggomen (The Nook, Weymouth) 4-6pm.

Revolution (Golden Lion, Weymouth)

Sheryl Lee (Black Dog, Weymouth)

Edd Bleach (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Lucy’s Piano Singalong (King’s Arms, Portesham)

The Mighty Fine (Lugger, Chickerell, Weymouth)

Lauren Bannon, Powelly, Mr Bucket, Side Door Project, Mama Feelgood (Rendezvous, Weymouth) From 2pm.

Chloe, Tom and Jack on the box (New Star, Portland)

The Sidekicks (Ropemakers, Bridport)

CHRISTMAS EVE (24)

Steve Francis (Conservative Club, Weymouth)

Nick Sellars (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

Ansell and Gretal (Bulls Head, Dorchester)

Remix (Park, Weymouth)

60s Revisited (Wyke Regis Working Mens Club, Weymouth)

Sheryl Lee (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

JD Acoustic (Boot, Weymouth)

Identikit (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

Stacey Lou (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Mad Hatters (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth)

Paisley (Belvedere, Weymouth)

Retro (Black Dog, Weymouth)

Jack and Benny (George, Chideock)

JD Acoustic (Boot, Weymouth)

The Crack (New Vic, Weymouth) From 3pm.

Ratpack (King’s Arms, Weymouth)

George Hall and Paul Sharod (Revolution, Trinity Road, Weymouth) From 2pm.

Nina Garcia (Greyhound, Sydling St Nicholas)

CHRISTMAS DAY (25)

Baby Jesus (The Stable, Bethlehem) With support from acoustic duo Mary and Joseph, jazz-fusion trio Three Wise Men and up and coming indie six-piece Some Shepherds. Other theological systems are available, so play nice, ok?

BOXING DAY (26)

Leggomen, Under The Carousel, Powelly, Toby De Kretser (Lazy Lizard, Weymouth) Cold Turkey, from 7pm.

Bad Intention (Finns, Weymouth)

Tequila Mockingbird (Wyke Smugglers, Weymouth)

The Shakespearos (Belvedere, Weymouth) 9pm

Shooter, Stereoironics (Spice Ship, Weymouth) From 4pm.

The Silhouettes (RBL Club, Portland) 2-5pm.

Bitter and Twisted (Britannia, Portland) 3-5pm

Leggomen, Shooter (The Spa, Weymouth) From 4pm.

Glen Smith and Jack Daniels (Kings Arms, Portesham) 2pm

Nina Garcia (Fleet Club, Beaminster) 6pm

TUESDAY (27)

Jon Storey and Friends (Three Compasses, Charminster)

Nathan Jon (Boot, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

WEDNESDAY (28)

Jon Storey and Friends (Finns, Weymouth)

Replay (Weymouth Pavilion) Weldmar dance.

Wessex Folk Night (Sailors Return, Weymouth)

Open Mic Night (Royal Exchange, Portland)

Open Mic (Bull, Fordington, Dorchester)

THURSDAY (29)

Dougie Cooper’s Jazzy Christmas (Star, Weymouth)

Leggomen (George, Weymouth)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Open Mic (George, Dorchester) With Elijah Wolf

Traditional Tune Session (Cove House Inn, Portland)

Ukulele Sessions (Sailors Return, Weymouth) Strum on down from 8pm.

FRIDAY (30)

Allen Howard (Weymouth Working Mens Club)

Ricky Solo (Edinburgh House of Sounds, Weymouth)

Lo Numbers (Gloucester, Weymouth)

Billy Solo (Wellington, Weymouth)

The Bog Dogs (Royal Portland Arms, Portland)