AS heckles go, it wasn’t particularly good but it’s stuck in my mind even after more than 30 years of playing in bands.
“Hurry up and get off, the meat draw’s on next,” squawked a witch from the door of the horrific working men’s club on a desolate housing estate somewhere on the outskirts of Hell, just off the M4.
But considering we’d only just parked the van and were starting to unload the gear, it was a bit harsh.
Rest assured there’ll be better catcalls and fruitier putdowns tonight, Friday, April 6, at the Brownsword Hall in Poundbury, Dorchester, for the rather grandly titled Rude and Obnoxious Hecklers Charity Ball.
It’s a black tie do with some top entertainment lined up, all of whom are no shrinking violets when it comes to dealing with intense barracking from steaming drunks and the great unwashed. Or, as some people call it, the audience.
Mr Piano Man Matt Black, who has an MA in vulgarity, Tom Caulfield, who has taken the art of cussing to a new low, the fragrant and elegant Gill Foott and the slightly less fragrant and considerably less elegant Jack Daniels will all be helping raise a shed load of loot for Help a Friend Help a Friend.
The HAFHAF charity was set up to help the late musician Stevie Charles and has continued to do good work for people who have serious illness and need a helping hand.
If you want a ticket, you’re out of luck as the evening is a complete sell-out which just goes to show in these straitened times, you can’t beat a good cuss and a hearty laugh. Good work, fellas.
Staying in the county town, there’s a party going on at the Corn Exchange tomorrow night, Saturday, April 7, to mark the 40th anniversary of environmental pressure group Greenpeace.
Punk rockers Thomas and the Mock-Ups are topping the bill with support from DJs Jay Rees and Mixedbag… and there’s hope that many of the whales saved by this worthy organisation will be making an appearance to say thanks.
It all kicks off at 8pm and tickets are a mere £4 and are available on the door.
Now then, the more observant of you will have noticed that this is Easter weekend which is symbolic of a kind of rebirth. Daffodils and crocuses blooming, baby lambs frolicking in the meadows, hosepipe bans and endless traffic jams: Yep, spring is definitely in the air.
So it’s a welcome back to the live music scene to Emma Gale.
The singer has been quiet of late following the break-up of her Vending Machine Repairmen who were a fixture on the circuit for ten years at least.
Emma’s back with her new duo Galeforce 2 and they’ll be at the Wellington Arms in Weymouth tomorrow night, Saturday, April 7, with a range of acoustic covers from Adele to Pink.
And stay tuned, Emma’s new band The Mighty Fine will be hitting the road next month.
And it’s a welcome back too to The Queens in Weymouth.
The King Street venue has been closed for a while but it’s now under new ownership and is relaunched tomorrow night with a gig from The Ha Has.
And if you fancy a gig there, get in touch with Fuzzy of Fuzzy Music Studios fame, who will be looking after the diary. You can contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org or 07940 928717.
Meanwhile, those of you suffering from a touch of paraskavedekatriaphobia should perhaps look away now.
Okay, you can come back. Friday the 13th is traditionally perceived as a symbol of bad luck but it didn’t do Black Sabbath any harm when they released their eponymous debut album on Friday, February 13, 1970. And look what happened to them. Er, quite.
So it’s fingers crossed then for local funsters 8 Days Later who are launching their latest EP Desperate Times for Being Someone with a multiband bash at Finns in Weymouth next Friday, April 13.
Support comes from The Smoking Hearts, The Chase and Nathan Detroit (as played by Frank Sinatra in Guys and Dolls, obviously) and entry is free.
And finally, just a quick word of thanks to all of you who’ve sent your dates in to email@example.com over the past few weeks. As you can see, there’s an absolute monster list of gigs this weekend, so if you’re either rocking or watching, have a great Easter.
Till next time..